Suffer, Arc I: Heroes' Demise
by abstow89
Summary: In the sequel to With Big Shells and Wings, Mario and his friends find themselves being targeted by a sinister new foe who will stop at nothing to plague the world with chaos, bedlam, and death.
1. The New Hero

**Suffer, Arc I: Heroes' Demise**

**Summary:** With the Mario Bros. missing, and a new, sinister threat looming, Parakarry decides to round up all of Mario's old partners so they can find Mario and face this new enemy head-on before it's too late.

**A/N: I'm just gonna say this now so I won't have to put up any warnings in the future: this is not going to be like **_**With Big Shells and Wings**_**. This isn't going to be as funny or as happy. It's going to be darker, it's going to be bloodier, it's going to have sexual content in it, swear words aren't gonna be censored, and more than likely it's going to be grosser than **_**With Big Shells and Wings**_**. Characters are going to be killed off in the story. And when I say killed off, I don't mean they die and then come back to life due to magic or life shrooms. I mean they die **_**and they stay dead**_**. So now that all that's been established, let's get on with the story, shall we?**

**The New Hero**

Tweeting. Everytime he flew over there, all he could hear were the beautiful sounds of the birds tweeting and flapping their wings. The sounds always made him feel happy; he always knew that upon hearing the lovely sounds, he'd be getting closer and closer to greeting the famous Mario Bros. Now the noises were irritating, a reminder that the glorious plumbers weren't there, and haven't been for weeks now. Parakarry almost didn't want to fly over to their house, but someone had sent another letter to them. It was his job to deliver the mail, no matter what. So the paratroopa flapped his wings over to the plumbers' house and hovered in front of the white mailbox with a blue top. He took out a letter and sighed as he stuffed it into the slot. Or rather, he _tried_ to, but the letter wouldn't go in. Parakarry heard the letter crinkle as he stuffed it forward over and over again; it wouldn't go in. The mailbox was filled with too much unread mail. Some of the letters were bulging out of the slot, and the mailbox looked like it was about to explode. Parakarry scratched his head before he stuffed the letter inside with both hands, hoping that it'd stay in. Much to his surprise, it did.

"There we go," muttered the paratroopa.

As if to mock him, the letter popped back out of the mailbox and landed right on the ground. Parakarry closed his eyes and exhaled.

"This is ridiculous! I know the Mario Bros. take a vacation every once in a while, but _three weeks_? Shouldn't someone at least be here to look after the house?"

Parakarry heard more incessant tweeting in the trees and grumbled. The letter wasn't inside the mailbox, but it was delivered. If the Mario Bros. didn't return in time and some wild animal ripped the fallen letter apart, that was their problem, not his.

"Forget it. They'll…I'm sure I'm just worrying too much. They'll come back eventually…they have to."

* * *

Parakarry returned to the post office to collect more letters to deliver. As always, no one was inside besides the Postmaster. The paratroopa hovered his way over to his boss and talked to him about the mail he had to collect.

"Got any more letters for me?"

"Of course I do. You know the letters keep coming faster than you can deliver them."

On any normal day, Parakarry might've pointed out his boss's condescending remark. But right now, the paratroopa didn't care; he was starting to feel a little depressed. The Postmaster picked up a large sack full of mail and took out several letters. He handed them over to Parakarry, who subsequently stuffed them all into his mail carrying bag.

"Thanks."

"…I take it they still weren't there," said the Postmaster.

Parakarry huffed. "I'm trying not to panic, but it's been three weeks now. The Mario Bros. usually aren't gone for this long; even if they are, they usually bother sending someone an e-mail, a message or something. Princess Peach told us that they were on vacation, but…something doesn't feel right here."

"Perhaps they need time to relax and don't want to be bothered with another crisis."

"That's just it: I feel like something really bad is about to happen. The Mario Bros. not being here leaves the Mushroom Kingdom wide open for invasion. How long do you think it'll take before some evil entity swings by and tries to destroy Toad Town, or kidnap the princess again?"

"Parakarry, it's over. The princess is safe. The Mario Bros. are fine. There's no evil threat out there; there's no one who wants to take over or destroy the world. You're not in the middle of a war or an adventure anymore, so stop acting like you are and relax. All you need to focus on is your job. So just do it and stop panicking."

Parakarry closed his eyes and exhaled. "Yes, sir."

The paratroopa opened the Post Office door and flew outside. He dug into his mail carrying bag and pulled out a letter that was conveniently addressed to Princess Peach. The paratroopa turned and looked at the giant blue gate with a star on it that led straight to her castle. Perhaps she could provide Parakarry with more answers.

* * *

Parakarry was still surprised at how it all happened. According to Peach, she snuck past the guards who captured her, and then got away from Bowser's castle when some magical dragon appeared out of nowhere and flew her to safety. A lot of Toads questioned Peach over and over again, wondering why the Mario Bros. weren't with her and where they were at. But the princess told everybody over and over again that shortly after she escaped, she discovered that the Mario Bros. were on their way to rescue her, but she got out of Bowser's castle before they could arrive. She then sent a message to their Mailbox SP, and upon reading the message, they quickly defeated Bowser to prevent another takeover of Mushroom Kingdom, and then decided that they would take a vacation in a city that Peach unsurprisingly knew nothing about. Several citizens were surprised with the story, while others merely accepted it and were glad that Peach was back safe and sound. But Parakarry was one of the few citizens who refused to believe Peach's odd story. Now would be the perfect time to get some answers. Parakarry hovered over to Peach's glorious castle and opened the front door. Inside, everything was utter chaos.

Several of Peach's guards were busy running around with stacks of paper in their hands. Most of them seemed to be carrying various maps or books that were all about certain islands or palaces located in the Kingdom. Parakarry looked at all the guards and raised an eyebrow questionably. He flew over to one of the spear-carrying Toads and asked him a question.

"Um, Princess Peach is upstairs, right?"

"Yes, just go up a few floors and you'll find her."

"Did something happen to her? You guys—"

"I assure you, the princess is fine. If you don't have a letter to give her, I'd advise you to leave."

Parakarry sighed. "Okay, okay, I'm going."

The paratroopa flapped his wings and flew all the way up to the main corridor in Peach's castle, the same one Mario fought Bowser in when the diabolical beast had taken the Star Rod. It was much quieter in the corridor, but Parakarry could see that Peach was talking to one of her guards loudly. The paratroopa slowly flapped his way over to the Toad and the princess, waiting for them to stop talking.

"I'm sorry, Princess, but we didn't find anything."

The blonde-haired princess rubbed her head and started pacing back and forth. "You sure? You checked all over Corona Mountain? You didn't see any castles or any sign—"

"We scoped the entire mountain three times, Princess. Some of our Toads were beginning to lose health from all the heat; we had to leave before we lost any men. We didn't see any castles there; it was all just lava. I'm sorry, Princess."

Peach sighed heavily and shook her head. "Thank you…just keep looking."

"We're on it!"

As the guard began to walk away, the princess sat down in a chair and rubbed her forehead again. She looked tired, almost as if she hadn't slept for the past two nights. She didn't even notice that Parakarry was there until she heard him flapping his wings over and over again.

"Oh, Parakarry. I take it I have a letter?"

"Um, yes," said the paratroopa, as he took it out of his bag. "You seem a bit stressed…everything okay?"

The princess didn't even bother reading the letter. She set it down on a nearby table and sighed. "No, Parakarry. You have no idea how hard it is to rule this kingdom."

"You mean with the Mario Bros. on vacation and all."

"Yes…vacation…"

Parakarry stopped flapping his wings and stood on the floor. He sighed as he walked over to the princess. "I'm gonna go on a limb here and say they're not on vacation."

"…No. I don't know where they are. They might be dead for all I know…"

Parakarry's eyes grew wide. "The famous Mario Bros. might be dead and you didn't even bother to tell anyone?! Exactly what happened when you got captured by Bowser?!"

"This is _exactly_ why I didn't tell anyone! If I had, everyone would've started panicking; I can't have the residents of Mushroom Kingdom in uproar on top of the fact that the Mario Bros. are gone!"

"So you lied to everyone and…what? You just made up some ridiculous story for the sake of making everyone happy?"

"I needed to keep everyone calm; I still do. For the past few weeks I've been trying to find Mario with the help of my guards. But so far, we've found nothing. I can't remember where Bowser's castle was, and even if I could, I doubt the Mario Bros. are still there."

"Why didn't you ask anyone for help?"

"…I just wanted to do this on my own, Parakarry. I wanted to make things right. When I was in Bowser's castle, this guy just…he pretty much told me that I'm nothing more than a damsel in distress, that I always get in trouble, that I'm utterly useless. And despite how cruel his words were…he was right."

"You know that's not—"

"The Mario Bros. are in danger because of me, Parakarry!" said Peach, her voice cracking. "They only went on their adventure for the sake of rescuing me, and now they're missing, probably dead! If I hadn't been so careless then I wouldn't have been captured in the first place and the Mario Bros. would still be fine! This is all my fault, Parakarry…"

The princess sniffled and wiped her eyes just as tears were beginning to roll down her face. The caring paratroopa blinked and grabbed both of Peach's hands in an effort to comfort her.

"You're not the one who's responsible for whatever predicament the Mario Bros. are in now. You know that."

"But I didn't do anything to stop it! I could've went back and looked for them, and I didn't! I could've stopped all this from happening. I could've—"

"Shhh, just relax, okay? You can't dwell on the past, Princess. What's done is done. We just need to focus on trying to find them now, that's all that matters."

Peach sniffled and wiped another tear away. "All right…okay."

The paratroopa let go of Peach's hands. "So what really happened after you got captured?"

"Bowser had two of his guards escort me out of the castle. And then we—"

"Stop, okay—hold on."

Parakarry shut his eyes and rubbed his head slowly. "_Bowser_ helped you escape his castle?"

The princess nodded. "He had to. If he didn't, his brother Trowzer would've kept me for one of his 'trophies.' I'm not even going to bother explaining what I mean by that."

"So—" Parakarry sighed heavily and rubbed his head with both hands. "Okay…so Bowser captures you, holds you prisoner, then lets you go so his brother—who's named after a pair of pants—won't keep you as his sex slave?"

"It's complicated, Parakarry. Bowser and his brother were having some bitter feud. Trowzer was trying to overthrow his brother; he raised his own army and slaughtered Bowser's, as far as I know."

"So there's a guy out there who defeated Bowser's entire army that's _not_ Mario or Luigi, and you don't think the people should know about it?"

"I told you: I don't want to start a panic!"

"Is this Pantszer…whatever his name his—is this guy capable of burning this whole town to the ground?"

"Imagine Bowser if he had a brain and he wore a blue shell and had yellow hair."

"So the guy looks like a blue palette swap of Bowser from _Super Smash Bros. Brawl_."

"…I know it sounds ridiculous, Parakarry, but that's who this guy is. That's what he looks like. And if we don't stop him soon, Mushroom Kingdom will be in grave danger. That's why I've been trying to find the Mario Bros. We all need to band together to face him before it's too late."

The paratroopa sighed. "Okay, I believe you. It sounds…odd, but then again I've ventured off into a world full of talking flowers. I know you feel responsible and I know you want to do this alone, but you can't. You're gonna need more than a few guards to help you find Mario and Luigi, let alone deal with this Trowzer character."

"I'm assuming you're the one offering to help."

Parakarry smiled. "Of course, Princess! Me and Goombario and Bombette and all the rest of us have dealt with situations like this before! Mario might not be here, but all of his partners like Bow and Kooper can still band together again like we did before and look for him."

"You sure this'll work?"

Parakarry nodded. "The gang'll be thrilled to be back together again! 'Sides, my boss has been a pain in my you-know-what lately. I _want_ to go on another adventure just to alleviate the stress."

The princess began to smile, glad that she finally had someone who might be able to offer some real help.

"Thank you, Parakarry."

"No problem!"

* * *

Parakarry's first stop was Goomba Village. He knew that Goombario was older and stronger now, definitely capable of joining him on his quest to find the Mario Bros. The paratroopa quickly flew over to the peaceful village, hoping that Goombario and his family were still there and not away on a trip. Lucky for him, all the goombas were still around, but they looked preoccupied. Parakarry scratched his head in confusion when he flew over to the goomba family's gate and heard hammering from the other side.

"Goompapa?"

The mustachioed goomba walked around towards the fence and saw Parakarry hovering outside the gate. Goompapa smiled. "Hey, it's Parakarry! Are Fishmael and the rest of the gang organizing another fishing trip?"

"Not this time. Actually, the reason why I'm here is because I need to speak to your son. It's urgent."

"All right, come in. I hope it's not too important though. We've been busy for the last few days."

Parakarry opened up the goomba family's gate and entered the family's yard. Goomama was busy talking to a couple of Toads; they seemed to be making some sort of building. The paratroopa hadn't visited the goomba family for quite some time and wasn't aware of what the family was currently involved in. Goompapa entered his house and disappeared for a brief moment. Parakarry flapped his wings for a few seconds before he noticed large sacks of goomnuts lying around near the house. He examined them for a few minutes before Goompapa came out of the house with Goombaria and Goombario walking alongside him.

"I told you, Goombaria: Dad and I do all the hard work, and you can stand around and count all the goomnuts we collect."

"But that's boring! I'm getting tired of…is that Parakarry?"

Goombario started to smile widely. He and his sister shouted with joy before they rushed over to greet the hovering reptile.

"Hey, Parakarry! Wassup?"

"Do you have any more letters or postcards for me?" asked Goombaria.

Parakarry shook his head. "Not today."

"Awww!"

Goombario snickered. "She's just upset that her secret admirer hasn't mailed her for the past few days."

"I am not! And-and he's not a secret admirer! He's just…a guy who likes me, that's all," mumbled Goombaria.

"Suuuuure he is."

"All right you two," said Goompapa, as he walked towards his children. "Goombaria, I think your mother could use some help measuring how long those wooden planks need to be. Goombario and Parakarry need to chat alone."

"Is it something serious? Maybe I could help out too."

Parakarry smiled. "I appreciate it, but I just need to talk to Goombario for now."

"Okay," said Goombaria dejectedly.

Goombario snickered again. "Make sure you go back to counting all those goomnuts I told you about."

"Be quiet!" snapped his sister.

As Goompapa and Goombaria walked away, Goombario and Parakarry headed over and talked to each other beside the tall tree carrying several goomnuts.

"So what's been going on? How's your job treating you?"

"Uh…would you prefer if I be blunt about why I'm here?"

Goombario blinked. "Did something happen with the princess again?"

"No, she's fine, but the Mario Bros. aren't. They might be in trouble, dead even."

"But I thought the princess—"

"That was a lie. She only said that because she didn't want everyone to panic. But I talked to her today, and she told me that Mario and Luigi might be in danger."

"Whoa! Are you serious?!"

"Yes. That's why I'm here. I need your help, Goombario; I need everyone's help. Bombette, Bow, Kooper, Sushie—everyone. We all need to get back together so we can look for the Mario Bros. before it's too late."

"Oh…I see."

"Your father mentioned something about you being busy?"

"Well…here's the thing, Parakarry," started the goomba.

Parakarry already didn't like where this was going. "You are too busy, aren't you?"

"It's not that I don't want to go. It's just, my family recently decided to open up our own shop here. We're gonna sell goomnuts to the public and make all sorts of food using goomnuts. Tayce T. isn't going to be around forever, and a lot of goombas and Toads really enjoy the nutty cakes and other desserts she makes, so Goomama decided to borrow one of Tayce T.'s cookbooks so she can learn how to make desserts on her own. We've been working on making the building for the past week now; it's going to take a while before it's finished."

"Is there any way you can take a break from helping your family? This is really important, Goombario. The world might be in danger!"

Goombario sighed. "I really wish I could help ya buddy, but I can't right now. I'm just too busy with my own issues and my family."

Parakarry tried not to look upset, but Goombario could definitely see it in his eyes. "Okay," he said solemnly.

"You know…this _is_ the Mario Bros. we're talking about. They've gotten themselves out of tougher situations before. Hell, Mario defeated a demon! Helping him take down Bowser was nothing compared to that! And he managed to do it without our help; it's possible that the princess is worrying too much."

"Possibly. Well, thanks anyway. Maybe Kooper and Bombette can help me."

Goombario smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure they'll be able to help you!"

Parakarry turned around and flew away from the goombas' house. So far things weren't going as planned.

* * *

Parakarry's situation didn't get any better. When the paratroopa arrived in Koopa Village to go find Kooper, he discovered that the blue-shelled koopa was nowhere to be found. So the paratroopa visited Kooper's friend Koover, and he informed him that Kooper had been missing for nearly three weeks. Koover even told him that Kooper wasn't on one of Professor Kolorado's expeditions. Now Parakarry was even more worried; he had been gone just as long as the Mario Bros. Kooper was in danger too. Fearful about the rest of the partners, Parakarry rushed over to what used to be Koopa Bros. Fortress and quickly headed inside. Thankfully, he spotted Bombette working alongside various other bob-omb buddies; they were currently blowing up small sections of the castle.

"Make sure you don't blow up the stairs yet! We still need to demolish the upper section of the fortress!"

Parakarry cleared his throat loudly so Bombette would notice him. The pink bob-omb with the ponytail-shaped fuse turned around and noticed the mail carrying paratroopa.

"Oh, hello! Didn't expect to see you here! Do you have a letter for me?"

"Not exactly, but I need your help."

"Really? You need me to find some letters for you?"

"This doesn't involve letters, Bombette. It's about the Mario Bros."

Bombette scoffed. "I never expected them to take a vacation for this long. Eh, can't blame them I guess. Mario _did_ save us all from some dark demon."

"They're not on vacation though. I think they're in trouble. I talked to Princess Peach today; she told me that the whole story about the Mario Bros. being on vacation was a lie. Truth is she doesn't know where they are. They could be in danger, Bombette."

"…And you want to find them and need my help."

"Basically, yes. Peach told me about this guy named, um, Trowzer or something—she told me that he's Bowser's brother and that he plans on taking over the world soon."

The pink bob-omb had to force herself not to laugh. Nevertheless, Parakarry saw her face twitch a few times as she stifled her laughter.

"Oh dear. I hope this guy doesn't smother us to death with pants."

"I know, I know—it sounded ludicrous to me too. But the princess is adamant about how dangerous this person is. She thinks this guy is going to try to take over the world soon; he's probably already started and we don't know about it yet. We're a flock of sheep, Bombette. There's a giant hungry wolf out there watching over us, waiting to strike, and we don't have a fence to protect ourselves. We need to find the Mario Bros. now before it's too late."

"Well, you're gonna have to do it without me."

Parakarry's eyes grew wide. "Why? How come?"

Before Bombette could answer, a blue bob-omb rushed over to the pink bob-omb and began to speak to her.

"Bombette, my love! The water in all the basement rooms has been flushed out! Bomb! What are your next orders?"

Bombette sighed with exasperation. "I told you, Bruce, I am not in love with you!"

The blue explosive snickered. "You can't fool me! Ba-bomb! I know that you're simply playing hard to get!"

"Bruce! I don't—" Bombette exhaled. "If you stop obsessing over me and go help Carl demolish the cell, I'll kiss you once we're finished remodeling the castle."

Bruce blinked. "Now what trickery is this? My love does not submit to demands so easily!"

"Okay, fine. I won't kiss you."

Bruce blinked again. "CARL! DO YOU NEED HELP WITH THAT CELL?!" he shouted as he ran away.

Bombette closed her eyes and sighed. "Sorry about him. Anyway, the reason why I can't help you is because I'm busy here with all the other bob-ombs."

"Doing what?" asked Parakarry.

"We're tearing down various parts of this fortress so we can rebuild it into a factory. We figured that it would be useful if we start making supplies for Toad Town. You know, metal beams, framework, rebar—that kind of stuff. Besides, if we turn this place into a factory, more Toads will have jobs; they'll be able to work here."

Parakarry flapped his wings more slowly. "Is that so?"

"Yeah! Doesn't it sound cool? Now everyone in Koopa Village won't have to worry about some renegade koopa taking this fortress back over. The bob-ombs and I were getting tired of the way this place looked anyway."

Parakarry sighed. "I'm guessing there's no other way I can persuade you."

Bombette shook her head. "I'm sorry, Parakarry. No offense, but I'm not worried about some guy who was named after a pair of pants. This is more important."

"…Don't you think we should prepare ourselves at least?"

"There's a difference between preparing ourselves and spending all of our lives in fear. Sure, Mario and Luigi might be gone, but it's not like we can't protect ourselves. We're not sheep, Parakarry; we know how to fight back. So if this pants-guy really does pose as a threat to us, we'll deal with it when the time comes."

"Right…sure. I'll, uh…I'll get back to my job. Got lots of letters to deliver and stuff."

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. I just thought you would've reconsidered, that's all."

The paratroopa sighed heavily and turned around as he flapped his wings. Bombette watched as the mailman headed towards the fortress exit and left the giant building.

* * *

Parakarry shut his eyes and rubbed his forehead, obviously irritated with the way his plan was going. Now the mailman was hovering inside Boo's Mansion, talking to the shopkeeper, Igor.

"You can't be serious! Bow's not even here?!"

The friendly ghost shook his head. "I'm sorry, Parakarry. You missed her just a few days ago."

"But—all right, where did she go? She couldn't have gone far, right?"

Igor sighed. "Alas, I do not know where she is. She left with a team of boos to travel around the world scaring as many people as she can; it's a family tradition, you see. We boos need to keep our reputation as being the scariest ghosts on this planet, if not the universe. We would rather not be labeled as 'cute' or 'cuddly'; we're boos for crying out loud!"

"How come you're not with them then? And what about that butler guy, Bootler? The last time he spoke to Mario, he practically had to beg Bow not to go with him and the rest of us to find Bowser and the Star Spirits!"

"And how did that turn out, Parakarry? She left anyway because she thought she could be of help to you and the rest of the world."

"But this isn't helping the world; she's just scaring a bunch of people to protect her image and all the other boos' images! I—this is ridiculous! I really need to speak with her!"

"I'm sorry man. She's not here. The only reason why I'm not with her is because someone needs to protect the mansion. But Bootler, Franky, Lady Bow—they're all gone. I was hoping Bootler would stay, but protecting Lady Bow is more important than making sure this mansion's in order, so he left too. 'Sides, with Tubba Blubba gone we got nothing to worry about."

Parakarry sighed heavily and shut his eyes. "Wonderful. I'm assuming that they won't be back soon."

"Not as far as I know. But if you want, I can tell her that you visited when she gets back. It's not too important, is it?"

"No," said Parakarry, dejectedly. "It's okay, don't worry about it."

"Oh. Did you want to buy something?"

"No, thank you. I'll see you another time."

* * *

Parakarry's hope in reuniting the partners was gradually dwindling. He almost didn't want to head to Shy Guy's Toy Box because he had a feeling that Watt would be busy too. Even now as the paratroopa hovered inside the toy box, he couldn't help but feel as though he was wasting precious time—time that should be used to deliver mail around the kingdom. But this new threat Peach warned him about seemed dire; Parakarry had to get the team back together so they could deal with this crisis. Parakarry was riding the toy train now, listening to the vehicle as it whistled and moved along the tracks very quickly. The reptile stared at all the blocks, wall doodles and childish architecture that had been constructed by the shy guys. Even if they were a bunch of mischievous creatures, they knew how to express their creative side—a side that Parakarry wished he was more in touch with. Instead, all he did was fly around the world handing letters to people. Somewhere along the line it finally hit him. The world was filled with creativity and splendor in even the most ridiculous of places. And now that Parakarry was stuck doing his job, he wasn't seeing it anymore. More importantly, if Parakarry didn't get the gang back together, this Trowzer guy would destroy the world, and he'd never get the chance to see wonderful sights like this again.

The paratroopa tried not to think too much. He tried to remain positive; he told himself that this was going to work, even if Goombario, Bombette, Kooper, and Lady Bow weren't with him. It _had_ to work. The toy train arrived at Red Station and began to slow down. Eventually, the massive toy train stopped and hissed loudly. The conductor hopped out of the train and announced where Parakarry had stopped, in his loud booming voice, like always.

"Station stop: Red Station! Welcome to Red Station, passengers!"

Parakarry knew that he was the only passenger on the train, but he didn't point it out to the conductor. Saying "passengers" was a force of habit at this point in his job. Parakarry flew around the station briefly before he decided to head towards his right. The flying koopa troopa caught a lucky break; several li'l sparkies were hovering around a couple of resting shy guys and one anti guy. The paratroopa sighed with relief. At least Watt's here, thought Parakarry. The mailman smiled as he flapped his wings and flew over to the group of shy guys and li'l sparkies.

"Well, lookie here! I see someone grew out of her pacifier!"

The young female li'l sparky turned and faced Parakarry. Watt smiled as she rushed over to greet him. "Yaaaaaay, it's Parakarry!"

The li'l sparky and paratroopa quickly flew towards each other, but they didn't hug one another since Parakarry was well aware that touching Watt was no different from touching someone electrified with a volt shroom.

"So are you taking a break from the, um, post office place?"

"No, I'm still working there."

"Oh! Then I'm guessing that you have a letter for me?"

"No, not that either."

Watt started to smile again. "Aww, you must have come here because you missed me!"

Parakarry didn't want to jump into the situation so quickly. He really was glad to see Watt after such a long time; she seemed like the only friend who wasn't so obsessed with work or family. Part of him didn't want to involve her in this crisis; she didn't need to be hauled all over the kingdom yet again just to save two plumbers. Parakarry still wasn't even sure if they were in trouble. The paratroopa smiled at the li'l sparky.

"Yeah…I guess I have."

"Hehehe!"

"But, um, there's another reason why I came here today. I take it you haven't heard from the Mario Bros. for a few weeks now?"

"No. The princess said they were, um, on vacation or something. Right?"

"That's what she said, but it's not the truth. It was all a lie so she wouldn't make everyone in Toad Town panic. I think the Mario Bros. are in danger, Watt. The reason why I came to see you today was because I need your help in finding them. You're one of Mario's most valuable teammates; I think the two of us alone might be able to find him. But I wouldn't mind if Sushie and Lakilester joined us too."

"Hehe! I really do like that you think I'm valuable. Lots of other people do to. That's how I got a job with my mom powering up, um, machine thingies in the kingdom."

Parakarry blinked. "You-you have a job?"

"Uh-huh! We're like floating light bulbs—at least, that's what the shy guys say. Other li'l sparkies like me use our bodies to power up machines and to act as flashlights for dark places. It's nice to know that I can be helpful even when Mario's not around!"

Here it comes, thought Parakarry. "Yes, yes, that is quite useful. But would it be possible if you took a break from your job to help me instead?"

"Oh…I wish I could, but Mom said that now that I'm older, I have, um, responsibilities. I can't goof off anymore; she told me that she's trying to prepare me for when I become an adult. She's really proud that I helped Mario and you guys defeat Bowser, but I can't stay a kid forever. I have to grow up."

"But you are still a kid, Watt. I know you don't have a pacifier in your mouth, but throwing away your binky doesn't mean you're an adult. You barely even managed to correctly say 'responsibilities' just now!"

"I've been working on my, um, vocabulary," she said, pronouncing "vocabulary" slowly. "Anyway, I'm sorry, Parakarry. But I'm a little busy now."

Parakarry blinked and looked past Watt, noticing that all the shy guys were lazing around on the floor and breathing heavily.

"Yeah, sure, 'busy.' Those shy guys seem pretty laid-back to me."

"Oh, them. We're on break right now—I'm surprised you managed to catch me. We barely have time to come back to the toy box to relax! I think we have to leave again in, um, ten minutes."

"Why are you working with shy guys anyway?! They're the ones who captured one of the star spirits!"

"But these guys are different, I swear! They are a bit annoying, but they're not evil. General Guy's not here anymore, so no one's telling them to do bad things. They're quite funny and cute once you get to know some of them."

Parakarry was slowly but steadily getting irritated by all these excuses. "Don't you even care that the Mario Bros. are probably in danger?"

"Of course I do! But…they're the Mario Bros. Mario was the one who rescued me from that big mean ghost. If he can do that, let alone save the world, don't you think Mario and Luigi can probably free themselves from whatever problem they're in?"

"No, I don't. And you obviously don't care, Watt, otherwise you'd be helping me."

Watt started to feel down. "Please don't get upset. Um, what about Sushie? I'm sure she'd love—"

"No, she wouldn't, Watt! Why should I even bother asking her?! When Mario and the rest of us were searching for the star spirits, she got a letter from her daughter saying that she was going to be a grandmother. I bet you an entire coin bag that when I go visit Sushie, she's gonna tell me that she won't help me either because she's too busy taking care of her grandchild! Let's not even talk about those Yoshi kids she looks over on Lavalava Island. Admit it, Watt: you can't come with me because you don't _want_ to. This whole thing about you having a job is just an excuse and you know it!"

"…I'm sorry…"

The paratroopa heard Watt sniffle and could tell by her face that she looked like she was about to cry. Parakarry calmed himself down and took a deep breath. There was no reason why he should've exploded like that, especially to someone as young as Watt.

"No, I'm sorry, Watt. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. I'm just very frustrated, that's all. No one seems to want to help me, I…"

Parakarry stopped talking and sighed. "It doesn't matter…I'm sorry for upsetting you. Go back to relaxing with your coworkers."

"Okay…"

The two partners went their separate ways. Watt went back to relaxing with the shy guys whilst Parakarry headed to Red Station so he could take the train to the toy box's exit.

* * *

Parakarry had one shot left: Lakilester. Like he told Watt, there was no point in even heading to Lavalava Island. The paratroopa didn't feel like riding the whale across the sea just to get there, and he certainly didn't feel like venturing through the filthy sewer called Toad Town Tunnels just so he could take the pipe that leads to the island. Besides, he already knew that Sushie would give the same excuse as Goombario and everyone else. If she wasn't busy taking care of her family or doing some kind of job, then she was probably away like Bow was, doing miscellaneous activities in some area Parakarry knew nothing about. So the paratroopa headed through the portal leading to Flower Fields. He looked all around the place and blinked. The sun was shining and pretty flowers were blooming or calmly floating around in the air. None of it pleased the mailman. All he could think about was what would happen if Trowzer stumbled upon this magnificent plain and set it all on fire. It would be worse than what Huff N. Puff did. The mailman tried not to imagine a bunch of flowers screaming bloody murder and shook his head. He flew over towards the nearest bub-ulb he could find, making sure to avoid Tolielip.

"Excuse me," said Parakarry.

"Oh, Parakarry! Nice to see you again! It's such a fine day today, isn't it?"

The paratroopa forced himself to smile. "Yes, it is."

"Do you have a letter for me?"

This was practically becoming a broken record. "No. I need to see Lakilester. Is he around?"

"Yeah, he and his wife Lakilulu built a house just east of here, beyond Petunia's place. You can't miss it; it's right beside that well."

"Okay, thanks."

Parakarry didn't stop afterwards. He flew straight to the well, ignoring any flowers or crazee dayzees or bzzaps! that he stumbled across. He just wanted to find Lakilester, tell him about the situation, and then finally get around to finding the Mario Bros. The house that was built next to the well didn't look too expensive or complicated. It looked more like a simple one-story cabin; then again, maybe that was all Lakilester and Lakilulu needed. The paratroopa hovered in front of the cabin door and knocked on it a few times.

"WHAT!" shouted Lakilester.

Parakarry's eyes grew wide and he backed away. "Err…it's Parakarry. Do you think I could see you for a moment?"

Parakarry got no answer. He stopped hovering in mid-air and planted his feet on the ground, waiting to see how long it would be before someone opened the door. After a while, someone approached the door and exhaled. Lakilester opened the front door and stepped outside, leaving it ajar since he knew he'd have to head inside soon.

"Is this important?"

Parakarry blinked and looked at Lakilester. The lakitu, shockingly, was walking, not hovering around in his cloud. The lakitu wasn't wearing his sunglasses this time and was showing off his bloodshot red eyes. Parakarry was surprised that Lakilester was even wearing his shell; after seeing him in this state, he expected the lakitu to come out wearing nothing but a T-shirt and boxers. Lakilester blinked and rubbed his forehead, obviously getting irritated.

"Uh…are you okay?"

"No, I'm tired as shit. That's what happens when you knock up your wife and she gives birth."

The paratroopa smiled. "You're a father now? Congratulations!"

"Yeah, thanks," grumbled Lakilester. "Can't even ride my fuckin' cloud though."

"Why not?"

"I was holding my boy and…you know what, I'm not gonna retell all the gross and graphic details. So what do you want?"

Great, thought Parakarry. I'm pretty much screwed now. "I was gonna ask you if you could help me find the Mario Bros., but since you have a kid now, I doubt that's gonna happen…"

"Yeah, you're right. I have a hatchling now, Parakarry. I gotta be all fatherly and shit. What kind of dad runs out on his kid like that to go find two people? Besides, didn't Princess Peach say they were on vacation?"

"That was—" Parakarry huffed. "I don't have time to explain. Look…I-I don't have anyone else to turn to, Lakilester. Everyone else is too busy; they think the Mario Bros. are okay. But it's been three weeks now and no one's heard from them! Doesn't anyone other than Peach and her guards want to help me find them?"

"Why should we? They're the Mario Bros. man! And we have our own shit to deal with. I'm married _and_ I got a kid. I can't spend all my time running around bashing up bad guys. And believe me, I want to. But you know how Lakilulu is…and with this kid, I don't know. It's like now I realize how fragile things are in my life."

"I-I…Lakilester, I know that you want to stay, but…there's a very good chance that a new threat is about to plague the Mushroom Kingdom! You-you have to help me buddy! You say you realize how fragile things are in life? Well, what happens when some evil force swings by and taints that fragile thing you love? What happens when someone worse than Bowser comes by and tries to hurt your wife, tries to hurt your kid?"

Lakilester snorted. "My wife and son are fine, thank you very much. And I'll be there to protect them. And as I just told you, I'm not hauling my ass across this planet just to find two plumbers who are busy slacking off in the sun."

"But this is important, Lakilester! People could start dying if you don't help me!"

The lakitu sighed and rolled his eyes. "Okay, now you're just exaggerating. You know what I think? I think that you _want_ there to be trouble. I think that you're bored with your life because all you do is fly around delivering mail. Everyone else has done something with their life except you. You haven't moved on. You're not past anything. You don't know what to do with yourself so you go around being pessimistic and thinking that something bad's gonna happen, that we're all gonna die, that the world's gonna end. But let's face it: all you want—"

"Shut the fuck up," Parakarry snarled.

Lakilester raised an eyebrow. "What did you just say?"

Parakarry was practically shaking with anger. He had his right hand clenched into a fist and his breathing was shaky and loud.

"_Fuck_ Goombario. _Fuck_ Sushie. _Fuck_ Bombette. Fuck all of you! All I fuckin' ask for is a little bit of fuckin' help! But none of you assholes care, do you? There's no crisis going on, so nobody gives a fuck! No one cares about anything dire until it happens! No one cares that we can prevent a massacre until the massacre is seconds away from occurring! It's all bullshit, Lakilester! It's all bullshit! Everyone's so fucking selfish when Mario's not here—we don't need him to guide us everywhere! We don't need him in our lives to be perfect! If Mario were standing beside me telling you that the world was in trouble, you'd pack up your shit and leave with us! But since there's no danger, all you fucking people make up excuses and say you can't go. But the truth is that _none of you WANT to go_! You're all a bunch of selfish bastards who care more about-about making nutty cakes and fuckin' factories and powering up machines than you do about what's going on in the rest of the world! I'm the only one who actually gives a shit! None of you care! None of you ever did!"

Lakilester stared at the enraged paratroopa, listening as he breathed heavily, his face red, his heart beating fast. The lakitu growled in his throat, trying to think of a way to retort Parakarry's caustic words. What he just said was uncalled for; he _did_ care. They all did. But Parakarry was putting all the blame on him, acting like he was the sole reason behind the bad things he had been dealing with. As much as Lakilester wanted to shove a spiny egg up the guy's cloaca, he had more important issues to deal with. His family came first; if there was a crisis going on in Mushroom Kingdom, he'd deal with it when that time came. Lakilester sighed deeply.

"Do you have a letter for me?"

"Wh…no!"

"Do you have one for me wife?"

"NO! What does any of that—"

"Then get the fuck off my lawn."

And with that, Lakilester slammed the door in the mailman's face. Parakarry raised his fist and was tempted to bash the door down, but as he breathed heavily, he began to process his thoughts. The paratroopa's anger started to subside, and gradually began to turn into sadness. Parakarry lowered his fist and exhaled, feeling defeated. No one was going to help him. He still had Sushie to consider, but at this point, Parakarry didn't have the time or energy to go see her. The mailman just stood there, staring at the door as he heard crying from inside—Lakilester's son, obviously. Parakarry stood for a moment longer before he slowly turned around and began to walk away. His whole journey had been pointless.

* * *

Parakarry didn't address Minh T. when she saw how down the paratroopa was. He just walked through her garden, being extra careful not to step on any flowers. Parakarry regretted what he said to Lakilester—and to Watt, for that matter. Sure, he was frustrated, but he had no right to take all his anger out on him. And unlike most partners, his reason for not leaving was justified. He didn't want to leave his wife or his hatchling; he had a family to take care of. A family that clearly needed him now more than ever. The paratroopa exhaled quietly as he walked south through Toad Town, heading for the train station. There was nothing he could do now except go it alone and explore Mushroom Kingdom without any backup, without any protection…without any friends. He could've told Peach, but that only would've made her more depressed. She was already blaming herself for what happened to the two heroes in the first place. Parakarry figured it would be best if she didn't worry. The paratroopa passed the li'l oink farm and the playroom and headed right for the conductor. Like everyone else, he asked Parakarry a question so repetitive that the paratroopa was tempted to shove a letter in his mouth just so he would shut up.

"Hey, Parakarry! Do you have a letter for me?"

The paratroopa was just about to yell at the conductor when he opened up his mail-carrying bag and blinked. "Um…actually, yeah. I do have one for you."

Parakarry took a letter out of his bag and handed it over to the conductor. The Toad was pleased to receive his mail, but he was surprised that Parakarry didn't say anything afterwards.

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

"What?"

"'Another letter, duly delivered. A postman's job is never done.' You always say that after handing someone a letter."

"Oh. I'm not in the mood today. …Is this train bound for Mt. Rugged?"

The conductor nodded. "Yes, that's correct. Are you coming, Parakarry?"

Parakarry shrugged. "Yeah. Not sure where else to go."

The Toad knew that the paratroopa was feeling depressed, but he passed it off as him having a bad day. "Um, okay. The train is about to depart. Please board quickly."

The train driver opened up the door to allow Parakarry to get inside. He hopped into the train and shut the door, and the driver began to speak.

"Sit tight, folks. Now departing for Mt. Rugged."

Shortly afterwards, the train whistle blew and the locomotive became active. It started to move down the tracks slowly, emitting a slow chugging sound that began to get faster and faster as the train accelerated. Soon enough, the train was exiting Toad Town and going at full speed on the tracks. Parakarry put his arms on the railing near the back of the train and stared at the scenery whizzing past him. He couldn't get it out of his head. Today, flowers were growing; everything was lush and plentiful, totally serene and untouched by any hazards. But all Parakarry could see was fire as it burned everything to the ground, tarnishing anything remotely beautiful. He didn't understand where these feelings were coming from or why they kept filling his mind. But they were there, and they wouldn't go away. Somewhere in the Mushroom World, something very bad was going to happen. Partners or not, Parakarry needed to stop whatever it was from happening. The paratroopa stopped obsessing over what could become of the wonderful landscape and relaxed as he rode the K64. It wasn't long before the train arrived to a rocky area and began to slow down near another train station. The train came to a halt and let out a loud burst of steam. Parakarry opened up the door and hopped out into the station.

"Mt. Rugged! Mt. Rugged! Passengers heading for Dry Dry Desert or Dry Dry Outpost should proceed directly over Mt. Rugged from this station," said the conductor.

The paratroopa didn't talk to anyone and started to flap his wings. He hovered his way towards the beginning of the mountain, where he first bumped into Mario while looking for the three letters that he lost. The paratroopa didn't know what else to do but wander around, as though his nostalgic memories would give him an answer. He traveled forward, flapping his wings very slowly as he moved around the mountain with ease. The calming sound of the waterfalls made Parakarry feel a bit more relaxed, but he still wasn't any closer to achieving his goal. The paratroopa heard snickering nearby and saw a Monty mole poke its head out of its hole. Parakarry quickly jerked himself out of the way as it chucked a rock at him and blew a raspberry. He had no time dealing with the pest, so he just flew away and let the miscreant disappear back into its hole. Parakarry stopped flying near an area where Mario found one of his missing letters and sat down on a rock. The sun was setting and it was getting cooler. It wouldn't be long now before it was nighttime. Parakarry was sitting on the rock, thinking about what move to make next, when he yowled and felt a sharp pain in his rear end. The paratroopa hopped up and shouted.

"YOW! Son of a…stupid monster!"

The "rock" that Parakarry was sitting on was actually a cleft. It wasted no time morphing back into its true form and poking at Parakarry's behind. The paratroopa flew high into the air mere seconds before the rock-like monster could jam its spikes into him again. Fed up with the annoying monster, Parakarry hid inside his shell and performed his special Shell Shot move. Parakarry hit the monster so hard that it was hurled several feet backwards, off the side of the mountains. Parakarry heard the tiny monster scream as it fell hundreds of feet to the ground, disappearing somewhere near the waterfalls. Parakarry calmed himself down from the brief attack and took a deep breath. Exhausted and disheartened over everything that had happened, Parakarry pressed his shell against a cliff wall, and slowly sat down on the ground. The mailman rubbed his head and exhaled.

"I'll just…I'll wait here, I guess. Maybe Mario will come back here and…and find me."

Parakarry pressed his head against the wall and slowly closed his eyes. He listened to the sound of the waterfalls and slowly started to lose consciousness.

"I'll just wait here…"

* * *

Parakarry had no idea that slept all the way into the night. He had no idea that the mountain was practically barren, short of him and a few sleeping Monty moles. He also had no idea that something had found him and was looking down at him. A great big beast breathed heavily, staring down at the paratroopa with dangerous red eyes. It growled loudly and grinned, showing off a pair of serrated yellow teeth. The beast kicked Parakarry in the left leg, and the mailman slowly started to stir. His eyes twitched and began to open. The paratroopa could still hear the waterfalls, but it was dark all around him. The only light he had was coming from the moon. Parakarry groaned and fully opened his eyes. And then he shouted and started to breathe heavily when he saw the giant horned beast. Parakarry still couldn't fully see, but judging by the beast's large body and massive shell, it had to be Bowser. Or at least, someone or something that looked like him. The giant beast growled again and grinned as much as it could, pleased to see Parakarry so terrified.

"Hello," it said, in a deep but calm voice.

This couldn't be happening. Bowser—or someone who looked like him—was standing _right there_, alive and well, and clearly ready to take on Parakarry. Parakarry's journey was about to get a whole lot worse.

"…Oh, crap."


	2. So Soon?

**Suffer, Arc I: Heroes' Demise**

**Summary:** Parakarry finds out just how dangerous Trowzer really is.

**So Soon?**

He couldn't do anything but stare. The mailman watched as the massive beast in front of him growled and kept exhaling, his breath appearing on the cool air. Parakarry took a few shorts breaths, his heart beating fast as he tried to fathom the whole situation. How did Bowser even know he was there? How did Bowser even _get_ there? Why was this happening—Parakarry hadn't done anything wrong. He just went around Toad Town asking his friends for help, and they all rejected him. And now here he was, forced to face the sinister beast on his own, in the middle of the night. Parakarry thought about saying something—maybe he could convince Bowser to leave him alone or at least give him time to prepare. But Bowser didn't care. He growled menacingly and approached Parakarry, opening up his fingers and extending his claws. Parakarry yelped and threw himself out the way before the monster clawed his face off. He didn't have another option; he was gonna have to fight Bowser. The mailman quickly flapped his wings and flew into the air.

The paratroopa shouted and flew out the way when Bowser opened his mouth and unleashed a powerful wave of fire breath at him. Once the big beast closed his mouth, Parakarry quickly performed his Sky Dive move and planted his shoe against Bowser's face. The king of koopas snarled and shook his head, ready to attack the paratroopa before he struck again. He jumped into the air so he could perform his Bowser Bomb move; the creature made two fists as he prepared to slam onto the ground (and Parakarry) butt first. But Parakarry easily swooped out of the way and dodged the attack just as Bowser landed on the ground. Before the koopa king could stand back up, Parakarry hid in his shell and did his special Shell Shot move. He clocked Bowser right in the nose, causing the monster to shout and fall on his spiky shell. Bowser grumbled as he fell backwards; he quickly rolled around to the left and right until he turned himself over and was lying on his stomach. Bowser stood up, panting, and looked around for Parakarry. The mailman had disappeared.

"Wha…where the hell is that little cretin? OW!"

Something hard bashed into Bowser's head, nearly spinning him around. Bowser snarled with frustration and ran out into the more open area of the mountain, where he was thwacked with something hard again. Unbeknown to Bowser, Parakarry was hiding his shell and flying around crazily as he performed his Air Raid move. Bowser tried to find the annoying mailman, but everytime he caught a glimpse of his shell, Parakarry would end up ramming his shell into Bowser's nose. The giant beast grunted and shouted as he was hit with Parakarry's shell over and over again, unable to keep up with the postman each time he zoomed around. After getting hit at least ten times in a row, Bowser realized that he had enough. He let out a long, exaggerated roar of defeat and began to take a few steps backwards, as though he were ready to fall down. Parakarry stopped zooming around the area and emerged from his shell so he could see Bowser fall. The king of koopas let out an odd coughing sound before he grabbed his chest and spluttered. Then the beast spun around almost comically and fell on his shell, exhaling as he closed his eyes.

"Um…okay then…"

Bowser's defeat seemed a bit exaggerated, to say the least. It was almost as if he were trying out for a role in a play—and failing miserably. But his defeat aside, Parakarry was shocked. Bowser came out of nowhere, attacked him for no reason, and then lost to a mailman? It all seemed way too easy. Parakarry stopped flapping his wings and landed on the ground. He slowly crept towards Bowser and examined the fallen creature. His eyes were shut and his mouth was partially open, but he was still alive. Parakarry couldn't see too well using only the moonlight, but as far as he knew, it was Bowser. And yet, it couldn't be…there was no way Bowser would lose _that_ easily.

"None of this makes sense! Why…maybe I shouldn't ask anymore. I defeated Bowser, so…I saved the day? Um…I guess I should go back and tell the princess what happened."

"What makes you think I'm Bowser?"

Parakarry shouted and jerked his head back over to who he thought was Bowser. The giant beast made a fist and punched Parakarry in the nose so hard that the mailman flipped through the air. He landed on the ground with a hard thud and shouted, stunned by the beast's powerful punch. "Bowser" rolled around on the ground until he was lying on his stomach again. He stood up very slowly and growled as he walked towards the subdued Parakarry, his large feet making small tremors in the ground. Just as Parakarry got on his feet, "Bowser" was in front of him. He grabbed Parakarry by the throat, causing the mailman to gag as he was slowly being choked. "Bowser" lifted Parakarry off the ground and grinned before he brought the mailman close to his face. Parakarry could see the creature's dark crimson eyes and smelled his foul breath as he growled at him.

"Did you _really_ think it would be that easy?"

"Bowser" lifted Parakarry even higher into the air and made a fist with his right hand. He then proceeded to punch Parakarry in the face over and over again without mercy, watching as blood started to spew from his nose. Parakarry lost count of how many times he got punched; his vision was becoming blurry, and he was having trouble staying awake. "Bowser" snarled as he chucked Parakarry's body against one of the mountain walls. The weak paratroopa fell to the ground, coughing up blood and groaning, too weak to even stand up so he could use his wings. But "Bowser" was alive and well, and slowly approaching the innocent postman. Parakarry grunted as he slowly rolled over onto his shell, breathing heavily. He glanced over to his left and saw "Bowser" standing right beside him, still grinning widely. He chuckled for a brief moment before lifting his right foot and stomping on Parakarry's head.

And then the paratroopa blacked out.

* * *

He already knew he was in a bad situation when he woke up and could barely move. Parakarry was breathing softly and trying to move his hands, but to no avail. Someone had placed a bag over his head and covered up his vision. Even if the bag wasn't there, Parakarry's right eye was swollen and black; he was struggling to keep it open. The mailman had seen his share of horror films and suspense movies in his lifetime to know that he had been captured. And considering the last person he saw, he could only guess that Bowser—or whoever the look-alike was—was the culprit. The paratroopa tried to move his hands again, but nothing worked. Frustrated, Parakarry stopped trying and huffed. The bad guy obviously wouldn't be stupid enough to capture him and then allow him to use his hands freely. The paratroopa was just about to ask something when someone snatched the sack off his head. Parakarry grunted and shut his eyes, blinded by the sudden light in the room. The mailman took a few deep breaths before he opened his eyes again very slowly.

"I suppose you were expecting that fight to go down differently, hmm?"

Parakarry took a few more deep breaths and looked down. He was sitting in a standard wooden chair, but his arms were tied against the chair arms and his legs were tied against the front legs of the chair. The paratroopa looked up and saw two different koopas standing in the distance near the exit. One was a Fire Bro. wearing an eye patch and the other was a dark koopatrol with menacing red eyes and an emotionless look on his face. The paratroopa looked around the room he was in, noticing that he was in some sort of empty, large chamber. Hardly anything was inside besides chains, a couple chairs, and a metal table that had several diabolical-looking instruments on it. Parakarry could tell exactly where this was going and feared that he was trapped in the movie _Hostel_.

"What…what the hell is this place?"

"Wow. You've just been captured by a maniacal genius and all you care about is where you are?"

"Bowser," who was standing behind Parakarry (and who just pulled off Parakarry's sack) slowly walked in front of the paratroopa, revealing his giant form to the mailman. Parakarry stopped breathing so heavily and blinked as he looked up at the monster. He thought he was looking at Bowser, but he wasn't. This beast had dark yellow hair and his shell was blue, not green. Not only that but his scales weren't the right color; they looked greyish and partially dark green, not yellow like Bowser's normal scale-color. The beast wagged his tail as he continued to look down at the mailman.

"Surely you're a bit more concerned about the chair you're tied in?"

Parakarry blinked. "Who are you?"

The blue-shelled beast snickered. "I'm Trowzer! King Trowzer, that is!"

Parakarry blinked as he stared up at the grinning pale-skinned monster, wondering if he was being serious or not.

"…You're Trowzer?"

"_King_ Trowzer. And yes, that's me!"

"Well this is…I just pictured you differently, that's all."

"What, you mean frothing at the mouth and screaming at everybody?" Trowzer chuckled. "No, no, I'm not as angry as my half-brother used to be."

Parakarry saw the Fire Bro. standing near the door turn away, as though he knew that Trowzer was lying about his rage issues. Trowzer backed away from Parakarry before he started to pace to his left and right.

"I'm different from your ordinary villain, Parakarry. I'm different from my late half-brother; I'm _better_ than he was. I'm better than all of his annoying little children. And I'm better than you and Mario and all the other 'glorious' heroes who've ever ventured around this kingdom."

"Why did you say 'late' half-brother? Peach told me about you already; she said that you're Bowser's brother. Does that mean—"

"That I killed him? Hehehe, of course it does! Shot him right in the head after a long and arduous fight! And then I tossed his body right out this very castle and watched as it plummeted into the fiery lava river below! It's a shame you weren't there; I think you would've been quite impressed over my skills."

Parakarry stared at Trowzer with wide eyes, watching as the maniacal beast grinned at him. After a brief moment, the mailman huffed and shook his head.

"You're lying. I don't like Bowser, but…that's just not possible. You can't kill someone like Bowser. He's survived dozens and dozens of beat downs from Mario and fell into lava too many times to count! How do you expect me to sit here and believe that you killed off one of the most iconic villains in the history of Mushroom Kingdom?!"

Trowzer blinked. "You're in denial. I can understand that. But like I said: _I shot him in the head_. It's a bit difficult to survive that. Sooner or later, you and everyone else just need to accept the fact that I beat him. I wouldn't be in his castle—my castle now—if I hadn't."

Parakarry huffed and closed his eyes. This guy can't be serious, he thought. He's just a cardboard cutout of Bowser painted differently; there's _no way_ someone like this guy could've killed someone like Bowser. The paratroopa opened his eyes and sighed, still feeling a bit sore in the face. He figured he had more important things to worry about and decided to ask a more obvious question.

"Why am I here? How'd you beat me so easily back on Mt. Rugged? How'd you even find me?"

Trowzer laughed evilly before he grabbed a wooden chair and positioned it in front of Parakarry. He turned the chair around before sitting down in the backwards facing chair and staring at the paratroopa, still smirking.

"I just felt like talking to someone."

"So you beat me up, captured me, and then dragged me all the way to Bowser's castle?"

"_My_ castle, Parakarry—remember that. And yes. Is it not simple?"

"…There's gotta be another reason; you…this is just too weird. Don't you plan on torturing me or-or something?"

"You sound like you _want_ me to torture you."

"…Nevermind then."

"As for Mt. Rugged, well, I had someone in Toad Town following you, telling me all about your whereabouts. My contact told me about how depressed you seemed after leaving Flower Fields. What happened down there?"

Parakarry looked down. "I don't wanna talk about it."

Trowzer shrugged. "Why not?"

"I'm just…"

Trowzer looked around the chamber, surprised at how empty it was. "Oh, where are your friends? That goomba with the blue hat, the pink bob-omb, the koopa with the blue shell—why aren't they with you?"

Parakarry sighed. "They were all too busy. I don't even know where Kooper is. I told them all about you and that Mushroom Kingdom's in danger, but none of them cared. I left Flower Fields feeling upset because Lakilester wouldn't come with me to help find the Mario Bros."

"Oh. Well, that's a shame. You asked for help from your friends when you needed them most, and they all shooed you away."

"Basically…"

"Except you don't have any friends, Parakarry. You never did. No one cares about you. You fly around and deliver mail. You live alone. You have no one in your life. You're no hero, Parakarry. You're just a postman with wings. That's all you'll ever be."

"Shut up," Parakarry snapped. "My friends might not have backed me up when I asked for their help…but they care about me and what I do. And I _am_ a hero. I was there when Mario was on his quest to save the Star Spirits; I helped him on his journey. I don't care what you say about my friends or my job or how I live, but don't you _dare_ say I'm no hero."

"What makes a hero, Parakarry? What makes a villain? Is it the paths we take, the actions we perform? Or maybe it's the way we dress, the way we look, the way we smell? How can you sit there and possibly _know_ that you're a hero, that the Mario Bros. are heroes, that anyone's a hero, for that matter?"

"Because I help people! I don't run around plaguing the world in misery and chaos!"

"Have you ever found spare coins lying on the ground?"

"Wha…yes."

"Did you donate them to charity? Did you try to find the owner of those coins?"

"No."

"Hmm," said Trowzer, nodding. "So you just saw some coins lying on the ground and picked them up. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's stealing, isn't it?"

"Well…technically—"

"There is no 'technically,' Parakarry. When you and Mario were running around saving Star Spirits, you were also mindlessly picking up coins and spending them on yourselves. Not only is that stealing, but that's just downright selfish. And stealing is bad, as the law keeps telling us. Heroes don't steal. Heroes don't break the law. So how are you and Mario heroes?"

Parakarry blinked and lowered his head. "…That's not fair. You're only looking at the negative; don't you care—"

"When you were on Mt. Rugged, did you run into any aggressive creatures? Like Monty moles or clefts?"

The paratroopa huffed. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Did you or didn't you?"

"Yes, a cleft."

"What did you do to it?"

"I fought it off and knocked it off a mountain."

"Was it doing anything to you before you fought it?"

"It was trying to attack me! What, are you saying I run around killing innocent animals too? That cleft was hostile!"

"And what was the cleft doing before it attacked you? If I remember right, clefts just lie around and do nothing but look like rocks."

"I-I thought it was a rock…but after I sat on it—"

"Ah! You see?! You were disturbing its territory! Of _course_ it attacked you, Parakarry! That cleft was no different than a bear protecting her cubs or wolves protecting their den! It was probably scared, frightened by your presence! …And you killed it."

"…It was in my way."

"So if I'm sitting on a plane trying to go to the bathroom and a fat person is blocking my path, I should kill him, right?"

"Wh—that doesn't make any sense!"

"Yes it does. I need to urinate. There's a heavyset guy in my way. So I should kill him and knock his corpse out the way, yes? Just like you did with the cleft."

"That's different! Clefts are dangerous; all they ever do is attack wandering adventurers!"

"And fat people are busy stuffing their faces, refusing to donate their food to poor countries around the world. They piss away all their money on food they don't need; they're subconsciously killing themselves, Parakarry. By me killing the guy blocking my way, I'm ending his suffering. He won't grow old and have a heart attack from stuffing his face with too many greasy, fat-enriched foods."

Parakarry and Trowzer stared at each other for a moment, and then Trowzer frowned. "You see how easy that is? You see how quickly someone can make a bullshit argument sound logical when they grasp for straws the way I just did? I'm sure if I tried hard enough, I could convince you that babies need to be slaughtered. If a cleft is hostile and in your way, _then go around it and don't bother it_. As for me, if a fat person was blocking my path to the bathroom, I would kindly ask him to move out the way so I can pass him. There's no need to resort to killing, Parakarry. In both of our situations, not just mine."

Parakarry closed his eyes and shook his head slowly. "None of this is fair," he murmured.

"Like I said, Parakarry, you're no hero. All you heroes see everything in black and white, yet you fail to acknowledge all the gray things you do. You think that all the good things you accomplish will make everyone ignore or forget about the morally wrong or controversial actions you perform. _That's_ why you and Mario _can't_ be heroes. You're both gray, not white."

Parakarry stared at Trowzer's smug grin and started to get frustrated. He was finally beginning to understand why he had been captured.

"You didn't capture me just to talk, did you? You brought me here so you could gloat. All you've been doing so far is chastising me and talking about how 'special' you are. Well, you know what? Let's look at you for a change. I think you're a narcissist who cares more about his pride and being smart. It clouds your judgment and logic. Don't you see the irony in who you are? You say you've killed Bowser and you're better than him, yet you look just like him. The only difference as far as I can tell is your smug attitude and a change in color—you look like a palette change from _Super Smash Bros. Brawl_, if we're being honest here."

Trowzer flared his nostrils, but he still kept grinning. "Is that all?"

"No, it's not! You exaggerate too much and don't look at the situation for what it is! Fighting a cleft in self-defense makes me a bad person? If that were the case, then all meat-eaters are bad people. They-they're consuming flesh of an animal that was once living and converting it all into fecal matter. And what about vegetarians? They're consuming beautiful plants, some of which help the environment. Are they bad people too? The way you counter arguments is so ridiculous that anyone could counter your counter the exact same way and it would still make sense. You know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think you just need attention. I-I think you were jealous of your brother, so you killed him—which I still don't fully believe—and then took over his castle just so you can tell the world, 'Hey guys! I did something cool today!' You keep saying that I'm not a hero? Well, guess what? _You're no villain_. You aren't now, and you never will be. All you are is a smug schoolyard bully who thinks words are his best weapon. All you've done so far is beat me up and then bore me to tears with your incessant jabbering. You're nothing more than some second-rate copy of Bowser who does nothing but brag and is in serious need of breath mints."

Trowzer didn't say anything for a very long time. He flared his nostrils a few times and took several deep breaths. His right eye even twitched a few times, as though the beast was forcing himself to keep his cool. He could see a small smirk appearing on Parakarry's face and decided that he wouldn't give in. So Trowzer sighed heavily and shut his eyes, nodding.

"You're right. I suppose that sometimes my arguing gets a little carried away. And yes, sometimes I talk a helluva lot more than I need to. I do brag a lot, I do enjoy my pride, I know that I look very similar to Bowser with a few color changes here and there, and I'm fully aware of the smell of my breath. So many people have mentioned how much my breath stinks that I'm starting to get used to it. But the one thing you said to me just now that really hit me was that I'm not a villain. Maybe I'm not as popular as Bowser, but after I'm finished burning Mushroom Kingdom to the ground, the whole world will know who I am!"

Parakarry scoffed. "You keep telling yourself that."

Trowzer chuckled. "Well, since you insist. The difference between me and Bowser and several other villains is that I'm smarter than them all. I make a Plan B, Plan C, Plan D, etc. I don't make a Plan A, and then make a recycled version of Plan A and use it again. Bowser would say, 'Hey! Let's kidnap the princess and hold her in a castle for Mario to rescue instead of just ganging up on Mario while he's sleeping!' Some cardboard cutout Redwall villain would say, 'Hey! Let's try to take over this peace-loving abbey despite the fact that dozens of warlords have tried to in the past and failed miserably!' And some villain from _24_ would say, 'Hey! Let's threaten a giant city with a weapon of mass destruction and completely ignore Jack Bauer's existence! Nothing could go wrong at all!'"

Trowzer sighed and shook his head. "Uh-uh, I'm tired of all that shit. That's just not me. That's why I'm taking a different approach on things. I'm not playing by the imaginary rulebook that the universe seems to set out for villains like Bowser and Smithy and all those other people who terrorize this kingdom."

"How different? What's your dastardly plan? I'm sure someone like you is dying to tell me."

Trowzer took a deep breath and stood up from his chair. He shoved it aside before he stood in front of Parakarry, rubbing his head.

"My goodness…I've been quite the chatterbox today, haven't I?"

"Yes…so about your plan?"

Trowzer huffed. "You don't listen, do you? I just told you that I'm smarter than all the other cliché villains out there, so why would I sit here and reveal my _entire_ plan to you? I bet you were expecting me to blab about my plan, and then get up and walk out of this chamber, weren't you? And then I'm guessing you planned on breaking out of this chair so you could escape while I was gone, weren't you?"

"…Well…"

Trowzer scoffed and shook his head. "This is what we villains are portrayed as: a bunch of fuckin' idiots who don't know when to turn on their brain."

"So…if you aren't going to leave this chamber, and you aren't going to tell me your evil plans, then what _are_ you gonna do?"

"That's simple, Parakarry!"

Trowzer stood in front of the paratroopa and leaned down. His face was so close to the mailman's that their snouts were almost touching. He grinned widely, showing off all his serrated yellow teeth.

"I'm going to kill you!"

Parakarry would've been worried, but after hearing Trowzer talk and studying his behavior, he just blinked and scoffed.

"You're bluffing."

Trowzer snickered. "I was hoping you'd say that."

The blue-shelled behemoth turned around and walked over to the metal table with nasty instruments on it. He chuckled and growled to himself as he played around with the tools, wondering which one he should use.

"If-if you're gonna kill me, then how do you plan on doing it?"

"Easy!" said Trowzer, as he picked up a crude-looking knife. "I'm gonna take this knife here, and, uh…tell you what: since you've been so 'kind' to me, I'll just slit your throat and make it quick. Sound good?"

Parakarry started to panic when Trowzer approached him with the knife in his right hand. The paratroopa began to pant and started to tug on the ropes that were tied around his wrists. Trowzer snickered.

"You see? Any dumb villain would've tied your arms _behind_ the chair. But I couldn't do that. If I did, then I wouldn't be able to see whether or not you were trying to escape. I needed to see your hands and feet at all times."

Parakarry started to pant louder and faster. "You…you-you can't do this! This isn't right—you can't do this now! This isn't supposed to happen this way! I was supposed to get everyone back together so we could save the Mario Bros.!"

Trowzer blinked. "Really, Parakarry? Did you _really_ think you would be the hero of this story?"

Parakarry whimpered and shook his head. "Please…you…you can't do this."

Trowzer started to twirl his knife around as he circled Parakarry in his chair. "Terry Crowley got shot in the face in the series premiere of _The Shield_. The _series premiere_, Parakarry. Helen Flynn got her head shoved into a deep fat fryer very early on in _Spooks_. And _Game of Thrones_ is still very popular even though Ned Stark got his head lopped off in the first season. …Shit. I hope I'm not spoiling anything. You've seen all these shows before, right?"

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT THESE SHOWS! JUST LET ME GO!"

"…Say that again?"

Parakarry sobbed. His vision became blurry as his eyes were filled with tears. "Please…just let me go."

Trowzer growled and wagged his tail merrily. "There…that's what I wanted to hear. This is what I want to see: you here, crying and sniffling, begging for mercy you know won't come. I'm kind of surprised you haven't peed or soiled your shell yet, but I guess beggars can't be choosers."

"I know you're not gonna kill me!" sobbed Parakarry. "You could've done it back at Mt. Rugged! You could've slit my throat then when I was sleeping! Why would you take me all the way back here, talk to me like a civil person, and _then_ kill me? What kind of a sick person does that?!"

Trowzer shrugged as he grinned. "I'm quite fascinated in pain and torture. With me, it's more about emotional and psychological torture, not just physical. The reason why I brought you here was solely so I could fill you with hope. I wanted to make you feel comfortable around me, like I could be your friend despite being evil. But I don't care about any of that. All I wanted to do was make you _think_ you would get out of here alive, and then snatch it all away. Isn't that fun?"

Parakarry screamed horribly as he tried to jerk both arms out of his restraints. Trowzer just stood still, snickering and grinning as he watched Parakarry desperately try to get free. The paratroopa thrashed around, hoping to tip the chair over so it would break. Nothing seemed to be working.

"Don't mind me! Keep thinking that you're gonna break out of that chair!"

As if the sadist's taunts weren't bad enough, Trowzer had to go and slice through part of the ropes tied around Parakarry's right wrist. He didn't slice the ropes off completely, but he made it so Parakarry could have a slight chance at breaking through them and getting free. Parakarry knew Trowzer was cocky; now was the perfect time to get free. He started to jerk and twist his right hand around, grunting and whimpering as he tried to break through the ropes. As he struggled, Trowzer shook his head and sighed.

"It's a shame really. I was _so_ looking forward to torturing you, or your family. Goombario has a big family; Kooper has a mother and his idol Professor Kolorado; Bombette has all her friends; Bow has her butler and several boos who worship her; Watt has a mother; Sushie _is_ a mother; Lakilester is currently dating another lakitu, most likely married to her at this point. But you? You have no one, nothing. Just a sack full of letters and a boss at work. No one's even gonna care that I kill you. They might not even know. Chances are, you'll be quickly replaced and your name will be forgotten."

Trowzer was being full of himself again; Parakarry still had a small chance to get his wrist free. Parakarry grunted as he started rocking the chair around, hoping to tip it over. But Trowzer anticipated this, and walked forward so he could grasp the chair and stop Parakarry.

"Now just relax. It won't take long if I cut deep enough," said Trowzer, as he tapped the knife against Parakarry's leg. "You'll feel like you're drowning and you'll slowly start to get tired. Chances are you're gonna try to scream for help or break free from this chair, but after I cut you, it'll already be too late."

Parakarry whimpered as two tears fell down his face. "Please…you don't have to do this…"

Trowzer sighed as he walked behind Parakarry and got his knife ready. Parakarry continued to jerk his right wrist upwards. The fibers in the rope were breaking apart and getting thinner and thinner. He was almost there.

"I'm sorry, Parakarry. I really did want to keep you alive. There are so many devious things I could do with you…_to_ you."

Trowzer was still running his mouth. He was letting his ego get the better of him. If Parakarry got his hand free, he could grab the knife before the blade touched his throat, snatch it away, cut his other restraints, and then kill everyone in the chamber. It was risky, and the chances of it all happening perfectly were slim, but the paratroopa didn't have any other option. He had to try _something_; he couldn't just sit there and die.

"Alas, I don't see the point in even torturing you. You're not some divine entity. You're not a celebrity. You don't even have a job that's out of the ordinary. You're just an average postman, Parakarry. You're just…_useless_."

By some miracle, the ropes broke. He was free. Trowzer made the vital error of cutting through the ropes in the first place, and now he was gonna pay for it. Parakarry didn't even get the chance to reach up before Trowzer grabbed Parakarry's head, placed the blade against his throat, and quickly ran it across his neck. Everything seemed to freeze in time. Parakarry wasn't even sure what happened. He thought he grabbed the knife, but his right hand wasn't grasping anything. Something warm and watery began to roll down his neck, getting all over his shell. Parakarry opened his mouth to speak, but all he could do was cough. The paratroopa let out a sharp gasp and looked down. A dangerous amount of crimson was getting all over his shell. He was dying. Parakarry's vision started to fade; he felt weaker, more tired. The paratroopa gasped again and coughed up some blood, unable to breathe. He let out a tiny whimper as he tried to lift his right hand, but he barely had the energy to do that anymore. All he could do was sit there and wait until everything faded away. Trowzer stepped in front of Parakarry, grinning as he watched the paratroopa bleed out.

Parakarry turned and glanced at Trowzer. Another tear rolled down his face as he opened his mouth to try and say something. But nothing would come out except a small whimper. The paratroopa blinked and looked like he was trying to grit his teeth, as though he wanted to curse Trowzer for what he had done. Parakarry felt more blood pour out his mouth. His eyelids became heavy. Everything slowly faded, and all Parakarry could see was darkness. He stopped moving and breathing, and his eyelids lowered very slowly, but were still open halfway. Trowzer wagged his tail and laughed as he saw the last inch of Parakarry's life drain away. He was dead, and Trowzer just stood there watching, taking great pleasure in seeing him die. The sadist walked over to the metal table and put the knife back down. Then he walked over to the dark koopatrol and the Fire Bro. so he could speak to them.

"Well now, did you two enjoy the show?"

The Fire Bro. blinked. "As long as you don't have another breakdown like you did with Larry, I don't mind your actions, sir."

Trowzer snickered. "Good, good! Now then, how long before we're ready to pay Glitz Pit a visit?"

The dark koopatrol blinked. "Just a few hours, sir."

Trowzer growled. "Excellent. Before we get started, I want the two of you to get rid of Parakarry's body. Make sure you incinerate it or bury him in a hole no one would ever think to look."

Both reptiles nodded. "Yes, King Trowzer."

As the one-eyed Fire Bro. and dark koopatrol went over to retrieve the body, Trowzer leaned against the wall and laughed to himself.

"Oh, Mario…you have no fucking idea what you're about to go up against."


	3. What a Hero Can't Do

**Suffer, Arc I: Heroes' Demise**

**Summary:** Trowzer puts his first act of world domination into play, and decides to torment the Mario Bros. personally in the process. Meanwhile, a few soldiers in Trowzer's army aren't too happy with him being the new king…

**What a Hero Can't Do**

His throbbing head and agonizing wrists were the first two things he always noticed when he woke up. The plumber didn't even feel like opening his eyes. He already knew where he was, where his brother was, and what had happened a few weeks ago. He had failed. Trowzer had single-handedly beaten him and Luigi to a pulp. He didn't rescue the princess. And Kooper and Geno…the plumber didn't even want to imagine the hell they were going through. Mario didn't know how long he had been locked away in the cell, but the fact that Kooper and Geno hadn't come back just told him that they were in trouble too. As the plumber hung there with his wrists chained to the wall, he tried to open his eyes again to see if anything had changed. He was still trapped in the same dank cell with four walls and a thick metal door in front of him. His brother was lying on the dirty mattress to his left; either he was reflecting on his failure like Mario was, or he was sleeping, unable to do much of anything else. Mario had tried to escape from the cell before, but the guards standing in front of the door saw him instantly and tossed him back in. There was nothing he or his brother could do but remain prisoner and be glad that the guards were actually feeding them and letting them go to the bathroom.

Mario lost consciousness for a brief moment when someone began to talk to the guards standing outside. After the conversation, someone unlocked the massive door and stepped inside. Mario opened his eyes and winced when a bright light blinded him briefly. The bulky being shut the door after snickering to himself.

"Hello, Mario! How are you feeling today?"

Mario closed his eyes and exhaled. He was getting tired of hearing Trowzer's snarky voice every day. The blue-shelled reptile slowly walked over to the plumber, grinning.

"Don't answer. I'm sure your mouth or throat is still a bit sore. Do you want any water, a tasty tonic perhaps?"

The plumber opened his mouth and let out a soft groaning sound; his mouth was dry, and anything ranging from a tasty tonic to fresh juice would be great for him right now. But Trowzer, naturally, didn't get him anything.

"Right, right. I'm sure you're okay!"

Mario sighed hoarsely. "…Why…"

"Why what, Mario?"

"Kill…why haven't…killed me? …What's the point, Trowzer?"

Trowzer snickered and patted Mario's head. "That's the easy part. And it's _King_ Trowzer, Mario! King! Remember that the next time you address me!"

Mario weakly shook his head. "Still…narcissist."

"I have every right to be a narcissist, Mario. I have every right to be happy, to be celebrating my victory!"

"What…"

"I killed my brother, Mario! Finally! I finally proved to everyone in this castle who's better, who's stronger, who's capable of taking over this kingdom!"

Mario huffed. "Can you…get on—"

"Oh, that's right! You don't like hearing me talk so much. I guess it won't kill me if I humor you for the moment. The reason why I haven't killed you or your brother yet is because I still need you. You see, you and your brother are like toys to me. And I really do enjoy playing with my toys, Mario…_I really do_."

Mario couldn't help but look at Trowzer with concern after he said that, especially with the nasty grin that was on his face at the time.

"…The hell do you mean by that?"

Trowzer ignored him. "You're all just my personal little play-things. I could've just killed you three weeks ago—"

"It's-it's been…" Mario groaned. "Three weeks?"

"Yes, it has. Now don't interrupt me! Point is the only reason why you're both alive is for my enjoyment! I want to see how far you plumbers are willing to go to stop me. I wanna see if you have what it takes! You couldn't stop me before; that right there tells me that you plumbers aren't true heroes. But with my help, you can be!"

Mario exhaled. "I am…a hero. So is Luigi."

Trowzer snorted. "You're no hero. Heroes are firemen who save children from burning buildings; heroes are doctors who get rid of malignant tumors; heroes are police officers who haul in criminals so they'll no longer do very, very bad things to people. What are you, Mario? What's your brother? A plumber? You guys unclog toilets and fix sinks—that's _so_ heroic!"

"Get on…with it," said Mario, a tad bit irritated.

Trowzer exhaled. "That's right. You don't like me talking; I'll just talk more then. Like I was saying, I'm going to, uh…'show' you guys what it means to be a true hero. Imagine it like a series of tests, or training! It'll be lots of fun! And the first, err…'test' I'm gonna put you and your brother through will be quite intense, and nerve-racking. But it's all part of the test; you'll be able to show everyone how 'heroic' you are."

"And…what is this…test?"

"Easy! You're going to save someone! That's what you heroes do, right? Save people! So your first 'test' will be to save an innocent creature who has done absolutely nothing wrong!"

Mario blinked. "…That's it?"

Trowzer shrugged and nodded. "That's it. Now, I must be going. I'm gonna go pay Glitzville a visit. You know, watch a few matches and maybe snack on some hotdogs. I think I've deserved a little time off."

"Shut…shut—"

Trowzer covered Mario's mouth with his hand and grinned. "Right…you hate me talking."

And with that, Trowzer punched Mario in the head, knocking him out.

* * *

Green was standing in one of the chambers of Trowzer's "brand new" castle, watching as several soldiers started to gather up a large supply of weapons. Trowzer was busy pacing back and forth, grinning as he watched the event unfold. The ninjakoopa was surprised at how fast everything was progressing. Just a few weeks ago this castle was under siege and his friends were getting killed left and right. The very chamber he was standing in was where he and several of Trowzer's men encountered Basilisx. Even now Green could remember the unfortunate Boomerang Bro. who accidentally sliced his own head off with his razor-sharp boomerang. But everyone around him had seemingly moved past the ordeal, even though there were many areas of the castle that still had holes in it from all the explosions. Green even overheard about how a few bald clefts found some poor soul who hid in a closet and took his own life because he didn't want to die so brutally during Trowzer's attack. The ninjakoopa exhaled as he walked around the chamber, examining the huge stockpile of weapons that Trowzer's men were taking up. The immense koopa wearing his giant spiky shell noticed Green glaring at the weapons and spoke to him.

"Cheer up, Green. You finally get to spend some time alone with your brother Black! You two feel free to mingle with your new coworkers; I'm sure they'd love to know more about you!"

Despite his disgust for the guy, Green couldn't help but nod and respond casually, "Whatever you say, Trowzer."

"_King_. Remember that."

Green's eye twitched. "_King_ Trowzer."

Trowzer laughed heartily. "God, I just love hearing that! Shannon! Drazzik!"

The one-eyed Fire Bro. who witnessed Parakarry's death and a dark koopa with a broken snout rushed over to Trowzer after hearing his booming voice.

"Yes, King Trowzer?" asked Shannon.

"The two of you are in charge of my castle until we get back. With Bowser out of the way, I'm sure neither of you will encounter any problems while we're gone?"

Drazzik, the Fire Bro., was about to say something when Shannon beat him to it. "You can count on us, King Trowzer! Heh, no worries, sir; we'll keep everything under control!"

Trowzer nodded. "Good!"

As Trowzer walked away to go chat with another one of his lieutenants, Drazzik glared at Shannon distastefully.

"I see you're still kissing his ass."

"I see you still have only one eye."

Drazzik rubbed his forehead. "Shannon, we don't have the time to stand here and get into these petty arguments with each other—"

"Then stop opening your mouth."

Shannon turned and faced Drazzik with a smug grin on his face. "Let's face it, Drazzik: sooner or later, Trowzer's only gonna need one of us. And what the boss needs is someone who will do whatever he says without question. And I know that's not you."

"No, what Trowzer needs is someone who's honest with him, someone who wants to see him succeed, someone who won't secretly try to plot against him the moment he shows a sign of weakness."

Drazzik stepped dangerously close to Shannon and got in his face. "We _both_ know that's not you. So you can stand there and continue to be his little errand boy, but no matter how 'kind' you are to him, no matter how many times you obey his commands without thinking them through, at the end of the day, you're a helluva lot more expendable than I am. Remember that."

Drazzik walked away before Shannon could dish out another fruitless insult at him. The dark koopa stood there, his smug grin no longer on his face. Shannon glanced over at two hyper clefts standing nearby, snickering quietly at him. The purple-shelled koopa snorted and stomped his way over to them.

"And just what is so goddamn funny?"

One of the hyper clefts stopped giggling. "Oh, nothing, sir! We're just—"

"You're just nothing! Get your ass back downstairs and finish tearing down that wall! It's been weakened by explosions; there's no point in trying to repair it anyway."

"But can't we—"

"I didn't ask, Cleftson. Now move your asses!"

As Shannon walked away, the hyper cleft standing beside Cleftson scowled. "Grack! Koopa has giant stick up ass!"

Cleftson sighed. "He's always got a stick up his ass. C'mon, let's just go."

Green could see that Shannon was busy bossing everyone around. Knowing that the smug dark koopa was out to get him, the ninjakoopa slowly made his way into a nearby bathroom. Green exhaled, glad to finally be away from the annoying dark koopa. The ninjakoopa curiously looked underneath all the stalls to see if anyone was inside the bathroom, but he was alone. The ninjakoopa stood beside one of the urinals and just thought as he pressed his shell against the wall. His brother Yellow was dead, his other brother, Red, was critically injured and resting in the medical center with a bullet in his chest, and his third brother, Black, was an emotionally broken reptile who would never be the same again. It felt like Green was the only member of his family who was still sane and using his brain. Green rubbed his forehead and exhaled.

"Maybe I should take Trowzer's advice and talk to some people…I'm sure I'm not the only one who hates Trowzer's guts."

As if on cue, an infamous purple crocodile wearing a large brown top hat burst into the bathroom. He grinned at Green and started to walk towards him.

"I was wondering where you were hiding! Gettin' tired of Bitch-Boy's ranting?"

"Fuck off, Croco. You're not my friend, so stop acting like it."

The purple crocodile blinked. "Now, normally I'd give you some snarky remark, but I'm not like Trowzer or Shannon. I'm being serious right now."

"So am I. Now go away; I feel like being alone right now."

Croco blinked. "I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because I gotta take a piss. Now shut up and listen to me."

Croco, surprisingly, wasn't lying. He walked over to the nearest urinal and aimed his penis at it. A few seconds later, he started to pee inside the toilet. Croco exhaled while Green just stood still with his arms folded.

"Seems to me like you and your brother are running out of friends."

"Thanks to you," said Green sternly.

Croco snickered. "I've no idea what you're talking about."

"Back during the siege on this castle, I lost a friend of mine—a good friend."

"Damn. He was one of those guys who got blown up from my bombs?"

"No, someone launched a chain chomp tooth at his throat. And then Shannon tried to make it look like an accident when he took it out by 'mistake.' The guy bled to death right in front of me."

"Did you see me kill him?"

"No, but that's not—"

"Then _why_ are you throwing a bitch-fit at me?"

"Because you're part of the reason why he's dead! If you never set up that ambush in the first place, then maybe he'd still be alive!"

Croco exhaled and stopped urinating. He walked over to the sink and began to wash his hands. "Goddamn, why are you so upset about this one guy? Were you fucking him or something?"

Green blinked. "No."

Croco grinned. "You sure about that?"

"_No_, Croco."

"So what's with—"

"Croco, you wouldn't know what I'm going through because you don't have friends. Steve…me and Steve, we were pretty much the same. We lost our brother and we were grieving. After a different friend of mine, Dix, was killed—by some asshole working for Trowzer, go figure—he came to me and comforted me when I was upset. Out of every single goddamn person that I know in Bowser's army, _Steve_ was the only one who bothered to talk to me, to try and make me feel better. And he did! Ever since Trowzer's been here, I've been losing friends or they've been getting killed off. I don't know who to trust anymore besides my brothers—neither of whom are exactly functionally right now."

Croco shook some of the water off his hands before he found some paper towels to wipe them off.

"I'll, uh, ignore what you said about how he 'comforted' you. So you're upset because you feel like you're alone in here, trapped."

Green shrugged. "…Basically."

Croco tossed his paper towels in the trash can. "That's good. Because we're in the same position. You see, I'm trapped too. You seriously think I want to be here working for that maniac?"

"Why _else_ would you be here?"

"Because I have no other options. Trowzer cornered me and my guys when we were trying to escape! And then one of my bandits fucked up the plan and randomly shot at everyone—"

"Including my brother," said Green bluntly.

Croco huffed. "Again, _not my fault_. Besides, the guy who shot your brother is dead now; your revenge against him is complete, blah, blah, blah. The point is, I was backed into a corner and the only option I had left was to bargain with Trowzer, and it worked. We're very much alike, Green. If we try to leave, we die; if we try to rebel against Trowzer, we die."

Green shook his head. "Is there a point to this conversation?"

"Oh, that! Um, yeah. You see, you and me," Croco stepped very close to Green and grinned. "We're gonna kill Trowzer."

Green scoffed. "It's never that easy. You just said if we rebel against him, we die."

"Alone, yes! Alone we are powerless, nothing more than tiny twigs that will snap in two. But if we get more people on our side, then guys like Drazzik and Shannon will have a pretty damn tough time trying to snap all those twigs at once."

"But we don't know who's loyal to Trowzer; more than likely if someone even _hears_ what we're saying right now, we're probably gonna get killed for it."

"You clearly don't observe people's emotions and body language, do you? Did you see how everyone looked at Trowzer after he mauled Larry to death? You have no idea how many of Trowzer's soldiers look at him with repulsion. Just the mere sight of him makes some of these people vomit in their mouths. All we need to do is a little convincing, and soon enough, Trowzer's own army will turn against him."

Green blinked and scratched his chin. "You…you might have a point. But it still can't be that simple. How else are we—"

"Public bathroom isn't the best place to talk about this," whispered Croco. "Perhaps we should chat somewhere more private later."

"Where?"

"It's better if you don't know. Trowzer and Mel won't be here for a while, and we should be able to avoid Shannon, Drazzik, and some of Trowzer's other lieutenants. I'll come find you when I have time."

"Good. So…what do we do until then?"

Croco grinned. "Mingle! Go make some new 'friends.' Act like nothing's wrong."

Green nodded, and a moment later, he and Croco headed for the bathroom's exit. The moment they opened the door, Croco shouted. Shannon was standing right in front of the door, his arms folded.

"Jesus, Shannon! Give us a fuckin' heart attack why dont'cha?!"

"What were you two doing in there?"

Croco blinked and glanced at the sign on the bathroom door. He slowly turned and faced Shannon again as he pointed at the bathroom.

"Are you fuckin' serious?"

Croco giggled as he walked past Shannon, paying no attention to the dark koopa.

"Hey man, if you want my stool sample so badly, just ask!"

* * *

Mario and Luigi were no longer weary or in their cells. In fact, the plumbers felt very much alive after some of Trowzer's guards were grateful enough to give them ultra shrooms. The shrooms didn't disguise all the bruises and scars they received during their first fight against Trowzer, but they certainly felt ready to face any new threat should the situation arise. Unfortunately, neither of them could move very much; their hands were tied behind their backs, their legs were tied together, and someone covered their eyes with bandannas. The guards didn't even want to risk one of the plumbers lunging at them and biting their throats out, so they stuck a gag in their mouths too. Neither plumber knew what was going on, but the floor they were on seemed to be rocking very gently; Mario guessed that they were on a ship and inside a cabin. While the older plumber fixated on trying to free his hands, Luigi was busy mumbling and hopping up and down in their new locked room. Now that Luigi had enough power, he was gonna use all of it to get free. Luigi hopped his way to one of the walls, thinking that it was a door, and shouted as he threw his body at it.

Predictably, Luigi didn't even put a dent in the wooden wall. He shouted as he fell flat on his back and groaned. With no way to pick himself up without straining himself, Luigi just lied on the floor, grunting and wiggling around as he attempted to get free again. However, before either of them could do anything else, someone opened the cabin door. Mario and Luigi looked up and saw something dark hovering close to them. The next thing they knew, they were being hauled out onto the main deck of the ship. The plumbers grunted as they tried to fight back, jerking their bodies back and forth so they could flee from their captors. Luigi actually jerked his head forward and head-butted someone, breaking his snout. The shady koopa shouted after his snout was broken and returned the favor by punching Luigi in his face. Moments later, the plumbers were escorted out onto the promenade, near the edge of the ship. Mario noticed that it became brighter; they were outside and somewhere sunny. Mario could smell salty sea air and heard a few seagulls crying. He turned his head a few times, thinking he'd be able to see something through the bandanna. But nothing worked.

Suddenly, someone sliced through the rope that tied Mario and Luigi's legs together. Luigi grunted questionably before someone sliced through the ropes tying their hands together too. Mario shouted with surprise, and then fear when someone tossed him and Luigi overboard. Thankfully, they were greeted to the sound of a hard thunk instead of a cold splash. Whoever was holding them captive just ditched them off on dry land. The steerskoopa quickly started the boat back up and sailed away from the dock before the Mario Bros. could figure out what was going on. Luigi panted several times and groaned as he slowly got up. He took the dirty gag out of his mouth and exhaled shortly before ripping the bandanna off his face. The man was facing backwards and staring at the ship as it sailed away. Luigi tossed his bandanna aside in frustration while Mario got on his knees and removed his bandanna and gag too. The plumber's eyes grew wide as he saw the familiar harbor, the infamous smell of the rank water and sweaty dockworkers filling his nostrils.

"What…Rogueport?!"

Luigi turned around and gasped. He had visited the thieving city before multiple times and was well-aware of the area's notoriety.

"Why the hell are we in Rogueport!? What…"

Luigi turned around and huffed as he glanced at the fleeing boat. Then he resumed looking around the harbor, still shocked by his discovery.

"This doesn't make any sense!"

Mario and Luigi were so busy trying to figure out why they were at the harbor that they failed to notice a nautical bob-omb rushing towards them. The panting bob-omb stopped in front of the Mario Bros., panicking.

"I can't believe it! You guys showed up at just…'old up a tick, the 'ell's wrong wif you guys? Why you so bashed up?"

Mario got to his feet and exhaled. The plumbers' clothing was dirty and torn, and the scars and bruises Trowzer gave both of them were still clearly visible on their faces. Mario shook his head.

"It's very complicated, Bomberto."

"'Ow'd you even know we needed 'elp?! Did someone already tell you?"

"We don't know, Bomberto! Listen, we've been captured for the last…wait, need help with what?"

Bomberto huffed. "Just follow me—and 'urry! I dunno 'ow much time the poor rodent's got left!"

The Mario Bros. followed Bomberto as he quickly walked around the dock. The plumbers and bob-omb moved their way through the small crowd of worried onlookers staring at the spectacle in the middle of the harbor. After they pushed their way past the dockworkers, Bomberto and the Mario Bros. found themselves staring at a familiar mouse-like creature with green skin.

"It's awright, Lumpy! Just stay calm an' the Mario Bros. will 'elp you out!" shouted Bomberto.

The rodent glanced at Mario and Luigi and nearly laughed with relief. He was shaking uncontrollably and his face was dripping wet with tears.

"Oh, thank the Star Spirits! Please, you guys have to help me! They-they said you two were the only ones who could defuse this!"

"Defuse wh…"

Mario and Luigi stepped close to the green ratooey and froze. Luigi covered his mouth with his hands while Mario just stared at the ratooey with wide eyes.

"Fuck."

"Please don't tell me that's what I think it is."

Lumpy whined as his legs shook and another tear fell down his face. "Get this thing off me!"

Mario, Luigi and Bomberto approached Lumpy so they were only a few feet away from him. Someone had strapped a crude-looking explosive to the ratooey's chest, almost as though it were some kind of vest. Mario looked closely at the explosives and noticed that there was a timer set for it. They only had ten minutes left before it blew up.

"That's a bomb," said Mario grimly.

"Yeah…now you see why all these blokes are keepin' their distance," said Bomberto.

Luigi felt his heart beating fast. He grabbed the explosives and tried to tug them away, but chains were tightly wrapped around them. As Luigi panted, he circled Lumpy's body and noticed that several thick padlocks were keeping the chains in place.

"You can't be serious!"

Bomberto shook his head. "Some sick twat chained all the explosives to Lumpy's body and then put a bunch o' padlocks on to 'old up the chains. What kinda twisted bastard does stuff like this?!"

Mario closed his eyes and sighed. "Trowzer."

"Who?"

"It's—I don't have time to explain! How did this happen, Lumpy?"

"I don't know! I-I was just vacationing, y'know, celebrating after I struck oil a few weeks back! Some guys just found me, followed me in the dark when I wasn't looking, and then knocked me out! The next thing I know, they're throwing me out onto the harbor and-and I got _this_ chained to my body!"

Mario rubbed his head. "God…I-I don't—"

"You have to help me! I…I don't want—"

"I know, I know! But I'm not…Bomberto, you can help me defuse this, right?"

"Uh, not really mate. I just work at a 'arbor. Ironic, I know—I'm a bob-omb who knows nothin' 'bout bombs. Go figure."

"Damnit! Luigi, maybe you…LUIGI!"

The skinny plumber was busy hiding behind a bunch of large wooden crates far away from Lumpy's position. He stuck his head out briefly before crouching back down.

"Uh, you know, I'll-I'll stay back here and, err, give you morale support!"

"Get back over here, Luigi! We need your help!"

Luigi closed his eyes and whined to himself. He slowly appeared from the crates and walked over to Lumpy again. While Mario and Bomberto were busy trying to figure out how to disarm the bomb, Luigi glanced at the padlocks and tugged on them a few times.

"Yeah, this might take a while. ANYONE GOT A PAIR OF BOLT CUTTERS?!"

Someone randomly threw bolt cutters at Luigi's feet. The plumber picked up the heavy tool and sighed as he spread the blades apart. He pointed the cutters right at the chains and exhaled.

"Okay…you know, this might actually be simple: all I'm gonna do is cut the chains—"

"You can't do that," Bomberto pointed out.

"Why not?"

Mario sighed as he noticed a few red wires interwoven with the chains. "Because some of the bomb's wires are wrapped around the chains. What happens if you cut the chains—"

"—and I end up cutting a wire by mistake? …Good point. I guess there's nothing left for us to do except defuse this thing."

"Right…but if that's the case, why do you still have the bolt cutters?"

Luigi clamped the bolt cutters down over one of the padlocks near Lumpy's waist. He grunted a couple of times as he started to squeeze the tool down very slowly.

"If you're not gonna let me take cover a safe distance away from the bomb, I may as well keep helping out instead of standing here doing nothing, LIKE THIS GIANT CROWD OF PEOPLE ARE DOING!"

A few crowd members muttered something or gasped, hoping that Lumpy would survive the ordeal, but so far the only person who actually bothered to help the plumbers was Bomberto.

"Besides, with any luck, you guys may not have to disarm this thing. If I can break all the padlocks, we can take off the chains, toss the bomb in the ocean or something, and then take cover as it explodes. Problem solved."

"Won't that kill a buncha fish in the sea?" asked Bomberto.

"Well, we'll put it in a barrel or a crate and cover it up; it doesn't matter! We don't have any other options! If I can't get this bomb off Lumpy and you guys can't figure out how to disarm it, Lumpy's gonna die!"

The green rodent whined loudly and shut his eyes as his heart started to beat faster.

"You're not 'elpin', Luigi!"

"…Sorry. I'll keep focusing on the padlocks."

Mario and Bomberto looked at the timer. There were only six minutes left. Mario exhaled and rubbed his head, still unsure of what he should do.

"Isn't Admiral Bobbery here? We could definitely use his help right now!"

"The admiral's out sailin' wif Cortez. Dunno when 'e plans on gettin' back!"

"Of _course_ he's gone. …Trowzer planned this whole thing out; he waited until this very day just to make sure _we_ were the ones who were forced to do this."

"Uh…Mario? C-Could you please hurry?!" pleaded Lumpy.

Mario shook his head and exhaled. "Sorry. Look, even if I knew how to disarm this thing, I don't have wire…"

Mario slowly patted his blue overalls and felt something hard. He quickly stuck his hands into one of the pockets and pulled out a pair of wire cutters conveniently planted in one of the pockets. The plumber shook his head and exhaled.

"Guy thought of everything."

"Awright, err…maybe-maybe I learned a thing or two 'bout bombs from the telly. I 'eard somewhere that if you disable the timer, that'll at least stop the bomb from countin' down to its explosion. Maybe we won't need to disarm it; we just need to slow it down!"

Mario stared at the timer; it was located right on the center of the series of plastic explosives. Luigi was still grunting and squeezing down on the bolt cutters as he tried to sever the hook from one of the padlocks. Mario reached forward and stared at the timer, watching as it beeped quietly each time one second was lost. They were getting close to five minutes now. The plumber exhaled slowly as he scraped at the timer with his finger. Much to his surprise, the timer slid off the explosives with no difficulty at all; the timer looked like a simple gray pager. However, as Mario pulled the timer away, he noticed that several wires were connected to the timer from behind. And all the wires zigzagged across the explosive vest.

"Ah, now this should be simple! You see all those wires? When the timer reaches zero, it'll send off a signal to the explosives an' set 'em all off!"

"So if we sever the wires, the explosives won't detonate."

"That's my theory!"

"…I get the feeling that bombs don't work that way, but at this point, I'll try anything. So what wires do I cut?"

Luigi grunted as he continued to try and get off the padlock. "It's usually always the blue one."

Mario glanced at some of the wires sticking out of the timer and exhaled. "Luigi?"

"Yeah?"

"They're _all_ blue."

Luigi shouted as he finally broke through one of the padlocks. He quickly removed the hunk of metal from the chains and tossed it on the ground. Luigi looked at the rest of the padlocks spread around Lumpy and sighed heavily.

"Is-Is that it? Can you get this bomb off now?!"

"No, Lumpy, I'm sorry. There's more padlocks attached to these chains."

"'Ow many more?" asked Bomberto.

"…Five."

Lumpy shut his eyes and whimpered again as his legs started to shake. Mario and Bomberto suddenly heard loud splashing and looked down. The poor ratooey was so frightened that he started to pee all over the ground, leaving a noticeable yellow puddle in-between his legs. Luigi took the bolt cutters and started to work on a second padlock, but the plumber knew that what he was doing was pointless.

"How much time is left?"

Mario looked at the timer. "About four and a half minutes."

"You guys need to start disarming this thing; I don't think I'm gonna get the locks off in time."

Mario exhaled. "Okay…just stay calm, Lumpy."

"I CAN'T!"

"Yes, you can."

"How?!"

"Just…think about that time you first found oil in Dry Dry Desert. Remember how happy you were, how rich you became after being bathed in black gold?"

"Y…yes…"

"Good. Then just keep thinking of that while I cut this wire."

"But we still don't know which—"

"We're just gonna have to take that chance, Bomberto. We don't have much time left!"

Mario took a few deep breaths as he lowered his wire cutters right next to one of the blue wires. Lumpy whined and shut his eyes while Mario inhaled sharply and felt his hands shaking. He quickly clipped the wire and shut his eyes. Nothing happened. There was no massive explosion, but the bomb's timer was still beeping faintly. Lumpy opened his eyes and gasped as he glanced down at Mario.

"Did…did that do it?"

"No, but I think I'm onto something. Since all these wires are blue and since the first wire I cut didn't set off the bomb, maybe if I cut them all, I'll stop the timer!"

"It's worth a shot," said Bomberto.

Mario snipped another wire. The timer emitted a very loud beeping sound and clicked. Bomberto's eyes grew wide as the plumber lifted up the timer. They only had three minutes left now.

"Shit! What the 'ell just 'appened?! Why's there less time now?!"

"WHAT?!"

Mario swore softly. "Damn him. It must be some kind of failsafe. The more wires we cut off, the less time we'll get. If I cut off all the blue wires—"

"Our body parts'll be spread all over this 'arbor!"

"S-So-So…wh-what does that mean? You can still stop it, right? There's-There's another way, right?!" asked Lumpy frantically.

Mario rubbed his forehead. "Luigi, how far are you?"

Luigi shouted as another padlock snapped off. He took it off the chains before exhaling with frustration. "There's still four left bro! But I found a yellow and green wire back here tied alongside some of the chains! Maybe you should try cutting these instead!"

Mario, Bomberto and Luigi switched places. Mario and Bomberto were standing behind Lumpy while Luigi was standing in front of him working on another padlock. Lumpy shut his eyes and kept muttering to himself.

"I'm gonna be fine, I'm gonna be fine, I'm gonna be fine, I'm gonna—"

"Lumpy, just…you remember your dream, Lumpy? You remember how you wanted to find oil for your hometown, so everyone there could heat their homes, and so you could become rich? You remember how tough that journey was?"

Lumpy panted a few times. "Yes…some stupid vulture or whatever it was stole all my stuff, I-I got lost in the desert at one point, and I nearly died from exhaustion after I spent a whole day digging for oil. …I actually lost hope for a brief moment."

"And what'd you do?"

"…Kept digging."

"And what happened?"

"I…I struck oil!"

Mario noticed the two wires that were interwoven with some of the chains. "That's right, Lumpy. You almost died in Dry Dry Desert looking for oil. Your throat nearly dried up and your skin practically became shriveled up from the sun's rays. And yet here you stand, alive and well."

Mario pulled the two wires apart and held the wire cutters against the green wire. "If you can survive all the hell Dry Dry Desert put you through, then you can survive this too."

Lumpy smiled slightly and sniffled as he wiped some of his tears away.

"Thank you."

Mario snipped the green wire in half, but Bomberto and Mario could still hear faint beeping. Mario sighed heavily and swore again.

"That didn't work either."

"I dunno! Err, try the yellow one!"

"We can't keep blinding cutting wires, Bomberto! Eventually we're gonna snip the wrong one!"

"As far as I can tell, the only bad wires are the red ones. Just stay away from them and we'll be okay!"

Mario shook his head. This wasn't going well at all. He reached forward and snipped the yellow wire. The beeping stopped for a moment, but after two seconds, it resumed, making Lumpy scream. Mario's hands started to shake. The only wires he could see were all red. There was no way to get the chains off. There were still four padlocks stuck to the chains. Mario took a few deep breaths while Bomberto slowly closed his eyes.

"Oi, Luigi, 'ow much time left?"

Luigi glanced at the timer and let out a frustrated groan. "Ninety seconds!"

Luigi was still groaning as he tried to get rid of the third padlock. Mario was still muttering to himself as he looked all around the bomb, trying to find more wires. But Bomberto just stood there, already coming to the grim conclusion.

"Mario…"

"Don't."

Bomberto stepped closer to the plumber. "Mario—"

"Don't! I-I can…I-I must've missed something."

Mario returned to Lumpy's front side again. Luigi was practically screaming with effort as he tried to break the padlock. His hands were getting tired and his face was nearly red as he applied more and more pressure on the lock. Luck was on the plumber's side this time, as the lock finally broke beneath the bolt cutters' blades. Luigi shouted as he dropped the bolt cutters and collapsed to his knees. He glanced over at the timer and exhaled. There were still three padlocks left, and only fifty seconds to go.

"Get the bolt cutters! You have to get the padlocks off!" shouted Mario.

Luigi slowly shook his head. "There's not enough time."

"Yes, there is!"

"It took me almost a minute just to get one padlock off! There's still three left, and we have less than fifty seconds! Even if by some miracle I did get them all off, we wouldn't have enough time to get the bomb off of Lumpy's body and into the water before it blew up anyway!"

"That's…that's okay. You-Mario can defuse it! Right?"

Mario just stood there as he looked down at the bomb. He saw so many wires and chains, but none of them gave him the answer he wanted. The only blue wires he saw were connected to the timer, and those were guaranteed to set the bomb off. He just didn't have enough time.

"…Right?"

There was less than forty seconds left. It was too late. Mario slowly looked up at Lumpy and exhaled.

"No. …I'm sorry, Lumpy. We can't save you."

Saying the words nearly tore Mario's heart apart. He wasn't best friends with Lumpy—he didn't even know him as much as he knew friends like Bombette and Goombella. But he knew that Lumpy was a kind individual who didn't deserve any of this. He did nothing wrong in his life. Even his quest for oil wasn't all selfish because he sent some of it back to his hometown so his family and friends could use it to stay warm. Lumpy stared at Mario with tears in his eyes and shuddered.

"No," he said quietly.

"EVERYBODY GET BACK! GET BACK NOW!" shouted Bomberto.

The crowd of unhelpful onlookers started to panic and scream as they ran for the nearest cover they could find. Lumpy's body shook as he whimpered, his face wet with tears again.

"You-You can get the chains off! You can try—"

"There's not enough time to get the padlocks off. I…I don't know what other wires to cut; I can't…I can't, Lumpy. I'm sorry."

"No! No, please, please, just keep trying!"

Mario felt Luigi clutching his right hand. "Mario, we have to go! There's nothing else we can do!"

There was less than twenty seconds left. Lumpy, desperate, grabbed Mario's overalls, hoping the plumber would come to his senses.

"PLEASE!"

"I'm sorry. I-I tried, but…we didn't have enough time!"

Lumpy was a sobbing wreck now. "I'm begging you! Help me!"

Luigi yanked on Mario's hand and tried to take him back; Lumpy held onto Mario's overalls and kept him close. There was nothing Mario could do but apologize over and over again.

"I'm sorry!"

"Don't leave me! You have to keep trying!"

"I'M SORRY!"

"MARIO, WE HAVE TO GO!"

"I'm…GOD!"

Mario finally came to his senses and turned to run away alongside Luigi and Bomberto. After the rodent finally let go of his overalls, he collapsed to his knees, sobbing hysterically.

"NO!"

Mario, Luigi and Bomberto kept sprinting away. Only five seconds left now.

"NOOOOOOOO!"

The rodent's nightmarish scream was abruptly cut off and replaced with the sound of a thunderous explosion. Lumpy disappeared instantly as the bomb went off and incinerated him. Everyone heard a tremendous burst of sound for half a second, and then all they heard was a loud ringing in their ears. Mario, Luigi and Bomberto were thrown off their feet by the explosion. The force of the blast sent them crashing into a wall. Several other onlookers who weren't a safe distance away were caught in the blast as well; two dockworkers were blasted out into the sea, and another one banged his head against a crate, shattering it. The explosion was heard throughout Rogueport; it nearly shook the ground. Wayward civilians who knew nothing about Lumpy's despair shouted or fell to the ground after hearing the bomb go off. The next thing they knew, they saw a black mushroom cloud rise into the sky. Some onlookers just stared in disbelief while others immediately headed to the docks to go help. Most of the citizens in Rogueport were used to bob-ombs exploding when angry, but they had never seen an explosion of that magnitude before.

As the smoke continued to rise into the sky, several wooden planks began to rain down from the sky, either charred black or still set on fire. What was left of the nearby crates and barrels caught in the explosion splashed into the water or on the ground. But no one even saw so much as a small body part plummet to the ground. They weren't sure what was worse: the fact that Lumpy's remains were blasted all over town or into the sea and that no one had found them yet or the fact that Lumpy's remains were possibly nothing but ash now. Mario and Luigi slowly started to recover from the explosion. They rolled over onto their stomachs, groaning or wincing, their ears still ringing. Luigi tried to stand up, but he just fell back down on top of Bomberto. Mario couldn't do anything but lie still and stare at the very spot Lumpy was standing only two minutes ago. He didn't save him. The bomb had gone off and killed him, not to mention critically injured several other innocent civilians.

He had failed.


	4. Rush

**Suffer, Arc I: Heroes' Demise**

**Summary:** The Mario Bros. figure out that Trowzer's next phase in his diabolical plan may involve Glitzville, and realize they need to get there as soon as possible. Meanwhile, the situation on Yoshi's Island is worse than ever, but some of the dinosaurs still have hope left…

**Rush**

The Mario Bros. couldn't do anything but sit on a crate and look down at the ground. Bomberto was standing right beside them, an equally depressed look of failure donning his face. The plumbers didn't know who to blame anymore—Trowzer, his army, the guy who invented bombs and padlocks—it didn't stop. Mostly, they couldn't stop blaming themselves. The green rodent was standing right there, so sure that the greatest heroes of all time would save him. And then Mario filled him with false hope, and now the ratooey died probably thinking that Mario intentionally lied to his face. There were dozens of dockworkers who were trying to rescue anyone who fell into the sea from the blast; some townfolk rushed to the dock to lend any aid they could. Not far from Bomberto, a charred bob-omb dockworker was coughing violently, surprised that the blast hadn't set him on fire or totally ruined his body. Mario and Luigi didn't care about any of it. It was all background noise to them. Neither of them noticed the dockworker who was panting and approaching the famous plumbers.

"Christ…I can't believe that mouse just…are you guys okay?"

The plumbers felt like the Toad was mocking them. Of _course_ they weren't okay; they just saw a ratooey get blown to pieces by a bomb they failed to get off. Mario briefly glanced up at the Toad before he looked back down.

"Fine," he mumbled very quietly.

"You sure you don't—"

"We just need a super shroom or two, that's all…" said Luigi quietly.

The Toad exhaled. "There's no reason to be so huffy—"

"They said they just need some shrooms. Now go!" shouted Bomberto.

Now the Toad was scowling. "I was there too, y'know! I saw him die; I could've been killed! Look guys, I know it's hard—"

"Shut the fuck up! You dunno shit! Where the fuck was you when we were tryin' to get the bomb off?! Where the fuck WAS ANYONE OF YOU?!" he shouted, loud enough for more than a few dockworkers to hear.

"I told you, I was—"

"No, ya weren't! You weren't beside me an' Mario an' Luigi when we were tryin' to defuse the bomb! You was wif everyone else just standin' by watchin', not 'elpin' at all! I was the only bloke on this dock who tried to do _something_; the rest of you didn't do shit! You didn't see Lumpy's face when Mario told 'im he'd be okay! You didn't 'ear Mario when he told 'im we couldn't save 'im! SO STOP FUCKIN' TELLIN' US YOU KNOW WHAT WE'RE GOIN' THROUGH AND STOP FUCKIN' ACTIN' LIKE YOU DID ANYTHIN' TO HELP!"

The Toad stared at the angry bob-omb dockworker and the depressed plumbers before he was suddenly overwhelmed with shame, realizing that Bomberto was right. The Toad didn't say anything more. He just stood there with tears in his eyes before he silently walked away. Mario closed his eyes and exhaled as he rubbed his forehead.

"That wasn't necessary."

Bomberto huffed. "Yes, it was! I'm not gonna stand 'ere wif an elephant in the room. You _know_ that if other people 'elped us, we might've been able to save Lumpy!"

"But did you have to say it so harshly?" asked Luigi.

Bomberto closed his eyes and sighed. "…Probably not. I'm just…I thought we could—"

"I know…but it's too late now. He's gone."

"…Shame. Poor guy never did nothin' to anybody. You want me to get those shrooms for you?"

Mario shook his head. "We'll get them ourselves."

"Awright then. …I think I'm gonna go home now."

"Don't you have to work?"

"Spendin' time wif my wife feels a bit more important right now. Guess I'll see you guys later."

The Mario Bros. watched as Bomberto walked away, weaving through the crowd of dockworkers who were trying to clean up the damage and heal those injured. Mario rubbed his eyes and shook his head.

"I failed him."

"No…this isn't our fault, Mario. We couldn't have done anything else."

"We could've cut the red wire. We could've found some way to get the locks—"

"Bro, this was Trowzer. You know that. We didn't put the bomb on him. We didn't blow him up. We didn't display him in public around all these people for the sake of getting them hurt—Trowzer did this."

Mario blinked. "You don't get it. Before we arrived here and we were still locked in that cell, I was still awake, and Trowzer talked to me. He said we were gonna be put through a series of 'tests,' and that the first test was to save someone. We're heroes, Luigi; that's what we're supposed to do: help and save others."

Mario lifted his gloved hand and pointed at the crater where Lumpy was standing. "Does it _look_ like we saved anyone today?"

Luigi could see that his brother was troubled by all the recent events and was taking Lumpy's death hard. He didn't know what else to say. What else _could_ be said? They tried to save Lumpy and failed. It was as simple as that. But the Mario Bros. haven't suffered a defeat like this before—almost everytime something went wrong, Mario and/or Luigi managed to reverse or correct everything somehow. But nothing they could do would bring Lumpy back.

"Mario…we can't just—"

"Mario?!"

The plumbers looked towards the crowd of dockworkers and noticed a familiar pink goomba with a yellow ponytail rushing towards them.

"Goombella?"

The pink goomba stopped in front of the two plumbers, panting slightly after rushing to the docks so quickly.

"Omigosh, I didn't know you two were back! Are you guys okay?!"

Luigi nodded. "Yeah…kind of."

Goombella sighed with relief. "That's good. What happened here? Did someone set off a bob-ulk by accident?"

"It's worse than that," muttered Mario.

"What's worse than setting off a giant purple bob-omb in the middle of a crowded area?"

"Chaining a bomb onto a ratooey and then blowing him up when he thinks he's going to be okay."

Goombella's eyes grew wide as she glanced at Mario and Luigi. "Wait…that rodent who always hangs out by the stairs? That-that guy who wanted to find oil—"

"Yeah, him. He's dead. We tried to get the bomb off, but…"

Goombella gasped quietly as she stared at the sullen plumbers. She closed her eyes for a moment before exhaling softly.

"I'm so sorry, guys…"

"Thanks."

The three heroes remained silent for a very long time, listening to the waves and the dockworkers chattering. Luigi finally exhaled and got around to asking, "So what now? What other 'test' does Trowzer want us to do?"

"Tr…what?"

"He didn't…no, wait. He said something about paying Glitzville a visit."

"Guys, a ratooey was just blown to smithereens. I don't think this is the time to talk about pants and Glitzville," said Goombella.

Mario and Luigi looked at Goombella. "Right, you don't know who he is yet."

"You mean this 'Trowzer' person?"

"Yeah. We've been a bit…maybe it's better if we just go ahead and tell you what's been going on the past few weeks."

Goombella sighed and rolled her eyes. "Like, seriously guys? Is Bowser plotting to kidnap the princess _again_? Is he the one who blew up Lumpy in the first place?!"

Mario blinked. "That's exactly the problem. Bowser is _the least_ of our worries…"

* * *

It was amazing that Yoshi's Island was still somewhat intact. Over eighty percent of the island had been overrun by Trowzer's forces. Even after Kooper and Geno were captured, other rebels still fought back for a few days. It wasn't long before Dracolin's body was discovered, and once it was, the shady koopas called in for more dragon reinforcements. Now the island had at least a dozen dragons occupying it; some were as brutal and heartless as Dracolin, while others were just there because they wanted free food. Villages were burned down, and Yoshis were shot down, executed, or worse. The rebels still alive and lucky enough to evade the enemy were currently being hunted down. The Yoshis who hadn't been killed on-sight were captured and held for slaves. Rape, torture, psychological and physical abuse—it all happened on the island. Those who were lucky enough to have a decent slave master got two meals a day and some fresh water. Those not lucky had to earn their food by having sex with the shady koopas, or by being their personal "butler" for a few hours. Even then, some shady koopas didn't care; they'd use the Yoshis as nothing but sex-toys or "playthings."

Kooper and Geno were exposed to this every single day. The stench of blood, dead bodies, and dragon shit filled everyone's noses for so long that they were used to it. Whenever they saw a Yoshi groveling on the ground pleading for his or her life, only for the Yoshi to get executed, they'd just shrug and accept it. The two heroes still wanted to be free; they wanted to get off the blasted island by any means necessary, but they finally accepted the fact that that probably wasn't a possibility. The heroes had tried to team up with other slaves so they could form a plan of escape before, and it usually ended with the plan being botched before anything drastic could take place. So the heroes just obeyed the shady koopas who ordered them around and worked them like dogs. Right now the heroes were busy trying to construct a new fortress that would act as the koopas' new base of operations. While Kooper was busy sitting on a log eating a melon, Geno and another captured Yoshi rebel, Tallard, were busy setting all the stones in place for the fortress. The leader of the shady koopas, a very pale koopa with a scar under his left eye that went down to his chin, was staring at Kooper while holding an assault rifle.

"That's enough for now. Get back to work."

Kooper glanced at the pale shady koopa and scowled. He ignored him and went back to munching on the juicy melon. The leader sighed with exasperation as he stood up and aimed his rifle at the reptile.

"I said, get back to work," he said, his voice more firm.

Kooper glanced at the shady koopa again before he huffed and tossed his melon aside. He stood up and returned to Geno and the orange Yoshi, trying his hardest not to lose his temper. Geno glanced at the blue-shelled koopa and shook his head.

"You'll get your chance, Kooper. Be patient."

Kooper didn't respond. He just blinked and started to lift one of the giant building stones. Meanwhile, Tallard glanced to his left and right to make sure none of the guards were paying close attention to him.

"I just need to find the right moment, that's all," said the orange Yoshi.

"And you're sure this is gonna work?"

Tallard nodded. "I know exactly where to put the keys. There's no—"

"You said that last time, remember? The guards found the keys hidden in the dirt and they wound up killing Oslo and three others."

"Trust me…I know where to hide them this time."

"If you say so."

As the three heroes were busy working on the fortress, two shady koopas and a large gray dragon appeared from the nearby forest. They stopped working on the fortress for a brief moment as they saw the two koopas dragging a black Yoshi by his feet. The Yoshi wasn't dead, but his entire body had been bruised and scarred after the koopas' "interrogation." They casually dropped the black Yoshi into the middle of the working area, causing all the other slaves to look at the wounded Yoshi with concern.

"This ain't a fuckin' play! Stop staring and get back to work!"

Most of the slaves obeyed, but Geno and Tallard were still concerned for the black Yoshi. He groaned and grunted a few times as he slowly started to get on his feet. One of the shady koopas grinned and planted his shoe on the Yoshi's back, stuffing his face into the soil.

"My goodness, I completely forgot! You missed your meal today slave! I'm sure you won't mind eating dirt for lunch, right?"

The shady koopa snickered as he planted his shoe on the black Yoshi's head instead, forcing him to splutter when dirt got into his mouth. The leader of the shady koopas sighed heavily.

"Dominic!"

The shady koopa looked over at the leader. "What is it, Marcus?"

"Take your foot off him. He needs to get back to work, remember?"

"How can he work when he hasn't had his meal yet? He'll just pass out from exhaustion!"

"So give him a watermelon and some grapes and be done with it."

Dominic hadn't taken a liking to his boss lately; he had grown soft ever since he killed Eddard and Bosley. Nevertheless, he was his commander; he had to listen to him. Dominic huffed and removed his foot, allowing the black Yoshi to rise from the ground. The agitated shady koopa stomped towards a large sack holding all sorts of fruit inside and took out a watermelon and a vine of grapes. As the black Yoshi coughed a few times, Dominic shoved the fruit into his hands and snorted.

"Enjoy your fuckin' meal."

Marcus thought Dominic and the other shady koopa would leave, but for some reason, they were still standing around the work area.

"Hey, Marcus? I think it's 'that time' again."

"Right now? Didn't you and Dominic _both_ have a Yoshi a few hours ago, Bledsoe?"

The female Yoshis (and even some of the male ones) all knew what the other shady koopa meant by that. As if on cue, Sandra, a yellow Yoshi, and a red Yoshi stood up and approached them. Tallard stopped working on the fortress and huffed as he ran up to the female Yoshis.

"You know you don't need to keep doing this," he murmured.

Sandra blinked. "You heard them last time. They said they either want me or Alyssa next. And you know that if we don't keep doing this, they won't give us food anymore."

The yellow Yoshi smiled slightly and scratched the back of her head. "'Sides…I've been suckin' Bledsoe's cock for so long that I'm almost used to the taste."

Tallard scowled. "Is that supposed to be funny?"

"…I'm not laughing, am I?"

Sandra and Alyssa walked past the orange Yoshi and stood in front of the gray dragon and two shady koopas. The yellow Yoshi folded her arms and huffed.

"Let's just get this over with so we can get more food. Which one of us do you want?"

Dominic and Bledsoe stared at the two Yoshis, but it was the gray dragon that took a few steps forward. He stood in front of Alyssa and pressed his big snout against the red Yoshi, his nostrils flaring as he sniffed her a few times. Alyssa grunted and backed away with disgust while the gray dragon grinned widely. He opened his mouth and licked his choppers noisily as drool slid down his mandible.

"I'll take this one."

"You…you can't eat me! I know how the rules work; you dragons can't eat any of the workers!"

"Who said anything about eating?"

The gray dragon laughed evilly, and Alyssa and Sandra's eyes grew wide.

"You…you can't," muttered Sandra.

"Uh, yeah, he can," said Dominic.

"No-no, you…you don't understand; he physically _can't_ do this!"

"Why not?" asked the dragon.

"It won't fit, for Christ's sake!" shouted Alyssa.

The gray dragon snorted. "I'll _make_ it fit."

Sandra started to breathe heavily. "We're telling you, it's not going to fit! Even if by some miracle it does, you're gonna kill her in the process!"

The dragon blinked. "So?"

Alyssa's eyes became watery. "Please…isn't there someone—"

"Dasko here wants to stick his fat, long cock inside one of you Yoshis; he's been blabbing about it for the past three days. Either one of you 'pleases' this majestic beast, or you get no food. It's that simple," said Dominic.

A tear slowly rolled down Alyssa's face. Sandra and Alyssa stared at each other, knowing that this would probably be the last time they'd get the chance to do so. Sandra thought about saying something else, but she knew nothing would help. The gray dragon snorted again, growing impatient. He shoved Alyssa down on her back with his snout and stood above her. The red Yoshi could feel the dragon's hot, foul breath on her face as he breathed heavily.

"If you'd like, I can fuck you right here in front of your friends so I can _show_ them that it'll fit!"

"NO! No…just…I'll go," said Alyssa with defeat.

Dasko snorted again as he backed away and let the red Yoshi stand up. She exchanged one last look at Sandra before she started to walk forward.

"Move it!" barked Bledsoe.

Sandra whimpered as she struggled her hardest not to cry. "Alyssa—"

"If I remember correctly, you have work you should be doing," said Dominic.

The yellow Yoshi didn't listen. All she could do was watch as Alyssa, the dragon, and the two shady koopas disappeared into the trees. Sandra already knew she wouldn't be coming back—not if the dragon was being serious about fucking her. She just stood there looking at the trees before she sobbed quietly. Frustrated, angry, and filled with sorrow, Sandra turned around and went back to working on the fortress, unable to keep the tears from coming out her eyes. Tallard swore deeply while Geno shook his head. Kooper was still being silent, although he was visibly shaking with rage again.

"We can't put up with this shit any longer," growled Tallard.

"I know, Tallard. Just give me time to think of a way for you to get inside that building."

The wounded black Yoshi grunted as he slowly approached them. "Maybe I can help?"

Tallard glanced behind his shoulder and looked at the black Yoshi. "We're fine, Denny. We can't exactly talk these assholes to death."

"Funny you should mention that…seeing as I didn't say anything when they were roughing me up."

"Good for you," said Tallard, almost sarcastically.

"…You said something about getting inside that building over there? That's one of the guard stations, right?"

Geno nodded. "We need to wait until nightfall so we can sneak in and—"

"No, that's too long. We need to get those keys as soon as possible," said Tallard.

"I don't see any other options. Not unless one of us creates a distraction so someone else can get in the building and swipe the keys before anyone sees."

Kooper suddenly stopped working on the fortress and turned to face Geno and the others. "Distraction? How big? For how long?"

"Long enough to draw the guards away for a minute or two. But I'm not sure what we…what are you doing?"

Kooper was holding a large stone in his hands and stomping his way towards Marcus. The very pale shady koopa blinked as he saw the reptile approach him.

"It's not break time yet. I'll let you—OW!"

Kooper chucked the heavy stone right at Marcus' left eye, blackening it. Before the shady koopa even had time to raise his weapon properly, Kooper was snarling and lunging forward. He pounced on Marcus like a cougar, pinning him down to the ground. The area was immediately filled with the sounds of shouting and some cheering from the slaves. Kooper made a fist and started to punch Marcus over and over again in the nose and eyes. One guard grabbed Kooper, but the koopa opened his mouth and snapped at him, biting down hard on his arm.

"STOP HIM!"

More shady koopas joined in on the fight, desperate to get the mad blue-shelled koopa off of Marcus. Tallard flicked his eyes over at the security station and noticed that it was unguarded. He took a chance and ran, sprinting his way to the building as fast as his legs would take him. The orange Yoshi's heart beat fast as he panted and opened up the door. Thankfully, no one was inside, and the station was very small. The Yoshi was about to step inside when he stopped. Realizing his shoes would track mud and sand, he quickly took them off and hopped inside the building bare-footed. Tallard thought the guards would be smart enough to keep the keys on their personal being, but the guards knew that no one would be stupid enough to try and approach these buildings. So they became careless and left their precious items just lying around on desks or shelves—not to mention they left doors unlocked. The orange Yoshi didn't have to look for long; he stumbled across the keys easily after opening up a drawer in the desk. They were sitting right there, stuffed underneath a few folders. Tallard snatched the keys without disturbing the files and quickly closed the drawer. Without hesitation, he opened his mouth and stuffed the keys inside, grunting as he devoured the keys as quickly as possible. They went down his throat with a hard gulp; Tallard opened his mouth and groaned with disgust at the bitter flavor. He panted and looked down at the floor, hoping he didn't leave any footprints.

The floor was clean; the only evidence left behind was the misplaced keys, and it would take a while before anyone noticed they were gone. So Tallard exited the security station, hastily put his shoes back on, shut the door, and then sprinted back to the work area before it was too late. The guards had gotten Kooper off of Marcus, but the wild koopa was still out of control. He was shouting and snarling, nearly foaming at the mouth as he was being dragged away by his arms by two guards. Marcus was lying on the ground, breathing heavily and groaning, his face bloody and his left eye blackened. Tallard casually stepped in-between Geno and Denny and went back to work, acting like nothing was wrong. One of the shady koopas helped Marcus get back to his feet while the other koopas were busy trying to control Kooper.

"I'm getting tired of this asshole, sir! Let's just shoot him and be done with it!"

"No!" shouted Marcus as he slowly shook his head. "No…lock him in solitary confinement. He'll calm down eventually. And when he does…put him back to work."

"Sir, I really think we should—"

"What did I say?"

The guard holding onto Kooper exhaled. "All right boss."

Not taking any chances of him breaking free, another shady koopa walked up to Kooper and bashed him upside the head with the butt of his rifle, knocking him out. The shady koopas proceeded to drag the unconscious koopa to a secluded part of the island, where Kooper would be locked up inside a small cage. Marcus groaned again as he started to rub some of the blood off his face.

"All right, show's over…get back to work everyone," said Marcus, with exhaustion this time.

Tallard couldn't help but smirk. "He's starting to cave. Won't be long now before he loses control over us."

"I seriously doubt that," said Denny.

"That guy went from being the shady koopa who coldly executed two Yoshis—one of whom was a kid—to being a tired old reptile who got the shit kicked out of him despite all these other guards around. Give it time; he's gonna crack."

Geno changed the subject. "So…the keys?" he whispered.

Tallard grinned. "Swallowed 'em."

"You _swallowed_ the keys?"

"Yeah, makes sense don't it? I let the keys sit in my stomach, then later on I'll lay an egg—"

"—and then we'll break the egg, with the keys inside. Smart move."

Tallard chuckled. "They can check my shoes, my mouth, give me a cavity search—they won't find a thing. So long as they don't cut my stomach open, anyway."

"But these guys aren't idiots. Eventually they're gonna realize one of us stole it," said Denny.

"Like I said, I doubt they're gonna try searching our stomachs for it."

"You sure about that? These guys may be careless, but they're not _that_ dumb."

"I'm sure. Just try to look on the bright side for a change."

"And what about Kooper?" asked Geno.

Tallard shrugged. "He can take care of himself until they release him. And if he's still in there by the time we break out, then we'll find him and rescue him too. Stop worrying so much guys. This is gonna work."

Denny sighed. "I hope so. It won't be long before we all break."

* * *

"So the two of you have been locked up in a castle somewhere this whole time?"

Mario nodded. "Yeah. While we were there, Trowzer told me he killed Bowser, although I seriously doubt that."

"Psh! Yeah, right, like some Bowser wannabe is actually capable of taking down the _real_ Bowser!"

"Whether or not it's true, that's not the issue here. This guy tried to kill us more than once. With guns, Goombella. He actually sent a hitkoopa after us once and there was this red Yoshi we met up with who befriended us, despite the fact he was really working for Trowzer all along. This guy's smart, Goombella—"

"And a narcissist," Luigi cut in.

"Great. Since you've been locked up, I'm guessing neither of you know that Peach is safe and sound then?"

"What?!"

Goombella nodded. "That's what the news board says anyway. Maybe that's why no one's been panicking; if Mushroom Kingdom really was in danger, the princess would be the first one in peril. But since she's safe now, I guess everyone thinks that Bowser's been defeated or something."

Mario closed his eyes and sighed with relief. He actually smiled and started chuckling. "She must've gotten out, escaped from Bowser's castle somehow. You know what this means, bro?"

Luigi still had a serious look on his face. "Yeah. Our entire journey, up until now, has been for absolutely _nothing_. The reason why we started this whole thing was to save Peach, and what happens? We get our asses handed to us, we left Kooper and Geno to go to Yoshi's Island alone—which probably means they're dead—and we spent three weeks in a locked chamber, unable to help anyone around us. The princess never needed our help! For all we know, we could've just stayed home!"

"And then we never would've found out who Trowzer was or what he plans on doing."

"We _don't_ know what he's doing! All we know is that he plans on 'testing' us, that's it! And we already botched up our first 'test'!"

"Are you saying—"

"GUYS!"

The Mario Bros. stopped talking. "What?"

"Like, seriously? Don't you think we have bigger problems to deal with? I can't say I know what you guys have been through, but it's in the past, so stop fixating on it. We need to get to Glitzville, right?"

Mario sighed. "You're right…no point in whining about it now. And yes, Glitzville. I'm pretty sure Trowzer's going to strike there next."

"What about Yoshi's Island?" asked Luigi. "Have the news boards said anything about there?"

Goombella looked down. "Um…someone posted a disturbing video on the Internet 'displaying' what was going on there."

"And?"

"Calling what I saw a 'massacre' is putting it very lightly. There were dragons burning things everywhere, these dead Yoshi kids—"

"Stop," said Luigi, as he slowly backed away and sat down on the gallows.

"…We couldn't have known what would happen, Luigi."

"It doesn't matter…we could've stopped it if we just went with Kooper and Geno," said Luigi softly.

"Why isn't anyone else trying to help Yoshi's Island? Don't they know what's going on there?" asked Mario.

"People tried. Most of them were killed. So people stopped trying; they figure it's not worth taking the risk anymore," said Goombella.

"And…what? Everyone's just ignoring what's going on there? Like Yoshi's Island doesn't exist anymore?!" said Luigi.

If Goombella had shoulders, she would've shrugged. "That's just what people do I guess. If something's not happening in their own backyard, they'll forget about it. 'That's not my problem; someone else can handle it,' they usually say. Besides, this is _Rogueport_. Did you really expect anyone from here to do much?"

"…Guess not."

"Luigi, you can't keep mulling over Yoshi's Island…just like I can't keep mulling over what happened to Lumpy. I failed him, but…what else is there to it? I can't just sit on my ass blaming myself when there are other crises going on around the world. We can mourn Lumpy and everyone on Yoshi's Island later. Right now there is a crisis that hasn't happened yet! If we get to Glitzville, we can warn everybody; maybe we can even evacuate all the citizens so no innocents get caught in the crossfire! I'm not saying that we should abandon Yoshi's Island, but let's face it: the three of us can't retake the island alone. You know that."

Luigi kept sitting on the gallows twiddling his thumbs before he sighed with frustration and stood back up. "You're right. I do know that." And that's exactly the problem, he made sure not to say out loud.

"Okay then. We'll worry about Glitzville now and Yoshi's Island later."

Luigi thought about saying something else, but judging by his brother's tone, it sounded like he was politely telling him to shut the fuck up, so he did. Since the heroes knew that they needed tickets to get to Glitzville, they started to walk west so they could see the head of the Pianta Syndicate. Mario kept looking all around the city, noticing that very little had changed. Bandits and other thieves were still lurking around the alleyways, goombas were still making shady deals and exchanging mysterious packages, the air still reeked of garbage and thievery, and Mousimilian was still trying to sniff out any opportunities that would lead to giant sacks of money. Even Goomez was still hanging out around the fountain and sniffing flowers. It was like none of them had a care in the world and were completely oblivious to the danger they might be facing. Maybe Goombella was right. Maybe they did know about impending danger and what was going on at Yoshi's Island, but they didn't care. They refused to spend their lives being a nervous, paranoid wreck that couldn't leave their own homes. Then again, when it comes to Rogueport, most of the inhabitants were desensitized when it came to trouble or crime. It wasn't long before the Mario Bros. and Goombella arrived at the Westside Goods store. They promptly entered the building and could see that Peeka was still running the shop.

"Hey there, Mario! Welcome back to Westside Goods!" said the boo.

"Is Don Frankie in right now?" asked Mario.

"Oh, yes. He's still upstairs 'round the back if you need to see him."

"Thanks," said Mario quickly.

The three heroes traversed through the secret back door before they climbed up a series of stairs leading to the Pianta Syndicate's hideout. Mario quickly opened up the door and burst inside, where his path was immediately blocked by two burly piantas in suits named Vinny and Tony.

"Hey, hey, HEY! This is a priv…wait, ain't you dat Mario guy an' his brother?" asked Tony.

Mario exhaled. "Yes, that's us. We need to see Don Frankie immediately."

"It's all right, guys. You can let him pass," said the blue Pianta.

Vinny and Tony nodded and went back to standing beside a table with a lamp on it. The pink goomba and plumbers approached the new Don's main table. The large blue creature was still wearing his trademark white suit, and his wife, Francesca, was still standing by his side. Frankie sighed heavily.

"Look, if this is about that bomb goin' off down at the docks, you're barking up the wrong tree. We had nothin' to do with that! Ishnail and his blasted Robbo Gang—"

"We know," Goombella interrupted.

Frankie stopped jabbering. "You know Ishnail planted those bob-ombs at the docks?"

"We're not talking about Ishnail or you, or even bob-ombs in general. There's a new evil monster on the loose toying with us, and he planted a bomb on that ratooey who always hangs out at the docks. …Let's just say he didn't make it," said Mario.

Vinny and Tony inhaled sharply while Francesca started to frown, saying, "Oh no."

"DAMN! Dat's a nasty way to go!" said Vinny.

"I'm real sorry to hear that…Vinny pretty much said it for me; that's a bad way to go. Regardless, if you know that we had nothing to do with it, why are you here?"

"We need blimp tickets again. Glitzville may be in danger and we have to head over there now and warn everybody," said Mario.

"We're gonna need train tickets too," Goombella added.

"Is Poshley Heights in danger?"

"No, but we may need them in the long-run. No point in running back and forth when you can just give them both to us now."

Frankie scratched his head. "I'd be more than happy to give you the tickets…"

"But?"

Francesca scoffed. "There is no 'but'! We can handle our own problems, Frankie; just give them the tickets! If it hadn't been for Mario, Daddy would still be sick! Not to mention he got Daddy to approve of our marriage!"

"But honey-bun—"

"What did I say about the cutesy terminology?"

Frankie sighed. "Sorry suga—uh…sorry."

Mario blinked. "You sure you guys don't need any help?"

"No. It's nothing, really," said Francesca. "We can handle it. You said you needed blimp and train tickets?"

"Yeah."

Frankie knew there was no point in arguing with his wife. He pulled open one of the drawers from his desk and took out a few blimp and train tickets. The Don stood up and walked over to the trio so he could hand them the tickets.

"Here you go."

"Thanks!"

"You guys better watch out. I think those crows are up to somethin' again," added Vinny.

"The blimp isn't far from here. I think we'll be—"

"No, no, dat's not what I mean. I've been hearin' some chatter recently about those crows headin' up to Glitzville to do somethin' nasty. Not sure what it is, but someone told me that Ishnail's goin' too, so it's gotta be important if that snail's finally decidin' to crawl outta his hidin' place."

"…Huh. Well, we'll watch out for 'em."

"Good luck!" said Francesca.

The trio departed from the Pianta Syndicate's hideout and entered the Westside Goods shop again. They quickly exited the store before hurrying over to the blimp towards the northern part of town. As always, the cheep-cheep Stewart was resting in front of the pipe leading to the giant blimp, waiting for any customers to come over and ride the blimp.

"This blimp goes to Glitzville. Will you be joining us on our flight today?"

Mario and the others nodded, which prompted the cheep-cheep to say, "Ah! Please allow me to check your boarding passes."

The three heroes handed their tickets over to Stewart, and he quickly looked over the tickets to make sure they were in order. After he finished checking them, he handed the tickets back to the heroes.

"Then please watch your step as you step aboard."

The heroes walked past the gate and hopped into the pipe, sliding through the green tube as it transported them to the pipe across town. After they emerged from the pipe, they jumped onto the ground and headed for the blimp.

"So do either of you have a plan?" asked Goombella.

"We'll figure it out once we get there," said Mario.

"Uh, no offense or anything, but walking into Glitzville half-assed isn't exactly a good idea."

"Don't worry. This isn't the first time—"

"No, she's right, bro. The last time we walked into a situation half-assed, we lost Kooper and Geno, and we got our asses handed to us. Don't you think we should come up with _some_ form of plan before we get there?"

Mario stopped walking, realizing how dire the situation may become. His brother and Goombella were right; they couldn't do this half-assed this time. And yet, they couldn't stand here and waste time. For all they knew, Trowzer was there already. The plumber rubbed his forehead and exhaled.

"You guys are right. We'll, uh, we'll come up with a plan on the flight. Every minute we stay here puts Glitzville at risk. If we don't think of anything by the time we get there, then we'll stop by the Fresh Juice Shop and figure it out then."

"All right," said Goombella.

"Sounds good to me," said Luigi.

The three heroes walked onto the platform that was used to haul passengers into the giant blimp and waited. The platform whirred silently as it slowly rose from the ground, taking the heroes with it. Shortly afterwards, the heroes were inside the aircraft, the blimp's propellers began to spin, and the fish-shaped blimp began to ascend.


End file.
